Sweenery Todder
by M.Turnerz
Summary: -ON HIATUS- What would happen if two teenagers were suddenly thrown into the universe of Sweeney Todd? You're about to find out. Rated T for ADVENTURE -not really- and romance and horror and PARODY.
1. Oh My Pudding

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT NEW. IT HAS BEEN EDITIFIED x2.**

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><p>"<em>GAAAARRRJAOGJHHHHH!<em>"

Brooke was sound asleep, dreaming of a nekkid, nekkid Ryan Reynolds, until she was rudely awakened by Micky's screech. She leapt up quickly and fell into ninja stance. "_WHAT? _What's wrong, Micky?"

She looked at her friend and her eyes grew large. Micky was shaking as if it was about -45 degrees Fahrenheit, like she saw a ghost, or like she was strapped to a nuclear powered blender. Or maybe even all three. Brooke shrugged and just thought she was having another meltdown until Micky pointed at something that was in front of her. She followed her gaze dramatically and froze immediately.

"Oh. My. _Pudding_."

Micky had definitely seen a ghost. He had sunken in eyes, and he was really, really pale and he had that weird white streak in his hair. If it were Micky, she would have some random poetic sonnet about his eyes seeing through your soul, or the white streak as a sign of purity or something. Or those high cheekbones. _Holy crap_, those cheekbones. Only _one_ person in the universe had those kind of cheekbones, and that was...no way, Brooke. Don't even go there. Besides, this character looked really suspicious. And hot. But mostly suspicious.

Suspiciously so.

She tore her eyes away momentarily and looked around the room. They were in what looked like an old-style hotel room, one that had a pretty good-sized main room with one bed and a desk with a quill and some papers on it. A door led to what was most likely the bathroom and the other led into the hallway, she guessed. Looking up at Micky once more, Brooke opened her mouth to shut her up in advance, but…

Micky had already jumped up off of the floor and sauntered right up to the guy. She looked a little closer, hesitantly, as if he would kill her (which he probably would). The guy just stared back at her like she was a turtle that had sprouted wings and was flying circles around his head. She must've recognized something or other, because she gasped and looked over at Brooke. Then back at the Grumpy Skunkman. Back. Forth. Back. Forth.

"I...ah, I...aojfahaofj_hominah_!"

Brooke calmly scolded, "Micky…use your words so we can understand you." Micky twitched and whisper-yelled, _"Do you have any fricken idea who this fricken is fricken?"_

"Ummmm...a kind of shmexy looking guy who looks like he was to kills us and boil our souls and also happens to suspiciously resemble Johnny Depp?" Skunkman raised an eyebrow. "Johnny what?"

"Who what where when why to what extent?"

Brooke put her hands on either of Micky's shoulders and shook her wildly. "_Simmer_, Micky. Don't make me use my Mace again." She could tell she wasn't getting through to her, so she slapped her hard across the face. Micky shook her head and muttered, "Thanks." All was silent for about 2 seconds.

"Hey, I remembered what I was gonna say!"

Micky happens to have the attention span of a twig.

Rubbing her temples, Brooke mumbled, "What?"

Circling her with one hand on her chin and the other hand behind her back (a classic pondering position), Micky asked Brooke, "Do you remember what we were doing last night?"

Brooke groaned. "Yeah, we passed out singing No Place like London while watching Sweeney Todd at my place. I kind of find it sad that we couldn't make it past the first song."

Totally disregarding her, Micky belted out, _"Seems a downright shame!"_ Skunkman looked at her and inquiringly replied, "Shame?" Micky squee-ed frantically, waving her arms all over the place. The taller brunette rolled her eyes. "Um, wrong song, but you were saying…?"

"Oh, yeah…ummmmm…hold on...oh, yeah! _Do you know who we are currently looking at?"_

"Um, are you talking about Grumpy Skunkman?"

"Excuse me!" Skunkman intervened. Brooke turned and glared at him, yelling, "You know, if you were a Honey Badger instead of a Skunkman, you wouldn't care as much!" He stared in silence at her, until:

"Whut." Brooke facepalmed and gestured at Micky to carry on.

"Brooke Slobe-a-don…we are speaking to _FRICKEN_ Swee—Sw-Ssss…" She passed out before she could finish. Brooke glanced at the heap of Micky at her feet, then looked up and said in confusion:

"I…don't know how to respond to that, if I'm completely honest."

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><p>I'm going through and editing these chapters AGAIN. But I think I'll try and finish the story before I work on that. Well, besides this chapter, obviously…<p>

Bow-chika-wow-wow!  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	2. Sesame Street!

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT NEW. IT HAS BEEN EDITED.**  
>So I'm in the process of editing all these crappy chapters, and I'm really, really bored. Sigh.<br>Ugh, I had to edit this twice cuz I forgot my signature...

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><p>Brooke was awkwardly staring at Grumpy Skunkman, switching her weight from one leg to the other. "...um, i-is this...true?" Skunkman snapped out of his spacing once again and his head turned toward Brooke. "Is what true?"<p>

Micky chimed in her opinion with a hearty "_Fail_."

Brooke rolled her eyes and laughed. She asked again, "I mean, is Micky right? Are you Sweeney Todd? I doubt Micky's right, but you never know..."

Micky pouted indignantly. She looked at Brooke with a wounded expression and said, "_Hurtful!_"

"Nice Woody reference."

Micky bowed and said, "_Thank you_."

Brooke shook her head. "Now, as I was saying, _is your name Sweeney Todd?_"

Skunkman pouts, crosses his arms, and says, "I'LL _NEVER_TELL!"

Micky was wandering over by the small window next to the bed. Brooke, dismayed that the guy wouldn't say anything, turns to her friend and asks for a little help. Micky didn't turn, but she glanced at Skunkman kind of deviously. "Well, Mr. _Kind-of-Freaky-but-Shmexy-Dude_, if you refuse to tell us your name, I suppose I'll have to use a little thing called..._blackmail!_" She whirled around with her letter opener/keychain/defense mechanism (which was a keychain of Triton's Sword from PotC 4) in her hand.

Skunkman doesn't back away, but he still looks plenty scared. "W-what are you going to do with that…um, _sword?_" During all of this, Micky has a crazed look of evil on her face. She cocks her head at what he said, and she looks confused about it, then looked at the weapon in her hand. Her mouth formed an 'o' in realization.

"Huh? Oh, I was just gonna get this cobwebby thing." She turned and swiped very dramatically at one of the corners of the room. She peeled off the cobweb from her keychain with disgust. "Okay, I got it! Don't worry, guys! It's all good!_ No need to worry!_"

Skunkman looked away from her and muttered, "No need to worry about that." Brooke rolled her eyes.

Micky picked up right where she left off. She held up her tiny sword again and said, "You'd better tell us, or I'll tell everyone your dirty little secret. Your call." He gasped. "Le _gasp! _You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I wouldn't, _would I?_" She pondered this and shrugged. "Meh, ask Brooke. I don't know." Skunkman turned to Brooke. She nodded and said, "She would. Trust me." She winked with difficulty at him. He kind of thought she had a mini-seizure.

Skunkman turned back to Micky. "Wait, which secret are we talking about exactly?"

Micky thought a bit, taking up her thinking pose (it was pretty much an awkward standing version of the thinker). He looked at her funny. She noticed, and so she resumed her threatening pose and exclaimed, "The one involving your favorite thing to do!"

"You mean the one where I get revenge of Judge Turpin? Speaking of which, would either of you like a shave? _AMWAHAHAHAA!_" He yelled while hunching over and wringing his hands diabolically.

Micky watched him with a _'you've gotta be kidding' _look. Her left eyebrow shot up and her mouth was in a kind of squiggle form, if that was possible. "Right. Anywho, no not that one, everyone knows you wanna do that."

Skunkman stops his hunching and wringing. He straightens up and says, "What? How–" then pouted again. His eyebrows then shot up at the realization of which secret Micky was yammering about. His head shot up as well. "No. Nobody knows about that. How could you possibly know that! The only person who knows that is–"

"_TIM BURTON!_" Micky yelled/asked.

"Who?" Once again, Micky had confused poor Skunkman.

Brooke walked over to Micky and whispered in her ear. "What? Tim Burton doesn't exist in this world? _FREAKIN' CRAP_!" Brooke nodded sympathetically. Skunkman started to bang his head against the wall. Why were these people so _confusing? _Brooke asked, "Well? What's this 'dirty little secret'?"

Skunkman stopped and he turned. He started to walk towards Micky. "Don't. You. _Dare_."Micky seemed to think about this. She took a step back and said, "Oh,_ I dare_."

He approached her again. Micky shook her finger at him and said, "Ah, ah, ah, Mr. Grumpy Gills. Tell us your name, and I won't tell your secret. To anyone. _Cross me heart!_" She paused, and continued with, "Woah, sorry for going all pirate on you, but seriously, what the _frikkers _is your name?"

Seeing no way he could win this, Skunkman hung his head dejectedly and mumbled, "Sweeney Todd."

"_Aright!_ That's more like it!" Brooke shook her head and smiled. "You know, I honestly didn't think you were this bad. You rock. _Atta buddy!_"

Micky looked incredibly proud. "Yes, my compadro, I realize this awesomess. Now let's get something to eat."

Brooke shrugged. "Aright." And they walked out the door. Mr. Todd sighed in exasperation at his horrible luck. "Well, at least she didn't tell."

"SWEENEY TODD LIKES TO WATCH SESAME STREET!"

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO!_"

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><p>Brooke would be proud of me if I actually did this. This would be funny. As. Crap. Not that crap is very funny, but ya know…<br>Todd: No, I don't know.  
>Micky: SHUT UP!<br>Todd: *weep, weep*  
>Micky: Aw, I'm sorry Mr. T. You know I wuv you… :3<br>Todd: Sniff. Yeah…

Aright! Enough of this stupidness! Review! Now! DO IT.  
>Todd: PWEEEEEEEEEASE?<br>Come on, guys. You don't wanna make Sweeney cry again, do you?  
>Brooke: Yes!<br>Micky: Shut up.  
>Todd: HAHAHA!<br>~MickyinBoots


	3. Magic Bananas!

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT NEW. IT HAS BEEN EDITED.**  
>AMWAHAHHA didn't see THAT coming last chappie huh? I had to. Besides, EVERYONE knows that Todd sings Elmo's World in his sleep...right Todd?<br>Todd: NO! Nobody can know that Micky!  
>Micky: Oh well. Now everyone knows.<br>Todd: You're NOT funny. Hey, I wonder what's for dinner?  
>Micky: … LOTSA SPAGHETTI!<br>(Inside joke. Do _not _ask)  
>I also don't own anything...and I'm still bored from editing everything.<p>

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><p><em>Later that night…<em>

Mr. Todd was walking down the hall to his room when he heard giggling. He looked to the sky, as if saying, _why me? Why now? _He begrudgingly opened the door and found Micky and Brooke playing some game on his hotel room floor. There was writing, lines, and a few circles and scribbles on the paper they were using.

Mr. Todd cleared his throat and waved his hands a bit, but the girls were too absorbed in the game to notice him. He almost died when he heard Brooke call out:

"OKAY! You live in a mansion with a tiger, you work as a lion-tamer, you and Mr. Todd are married, and you have seventy-nine children!

Both Micky and Mr. Todd felt their jaws drop. There was silence for a few seconds, then Micky stands up, and says, "I'm gonna do a little dance. Oh, yes I am." And she proceeded to do so. Brooke started to laugh.

She didn't notice Mr. Todd until she ran smack into him and fell on the ground. He glared at her. "What is this…this _business?_"

Brooke started laughing even harder. She is completely sadistic. Oh, well.

Micky looked up at him from the spot on the floor. "Well…well, I…Brooke…" She was thinking extremely hard, and she had her arms crossed and pouted. "Well, Brooke already got Dylan Sprouse, so you're pretty much the only person left! So there!"

Mr. Todd looked at them, then nodded sympathetically at Micky. "Wow. What kind of friend would steal Dylan Sprouse? That's just inhumane."

Micky exclaimed, "I KNOW, RIGHT?"

Brooke said, "HEY!"

Mr. Todd thought for a while, then suggested, "Well what about that one fellow, what was his name? Deck…Deep…oh, Depp! Yes, what about that Depp guy?"

Micky stared at the ground.

"CRAP!"

Brooke looked like she was gonna pass out from laughter. "Well, now you're stuck with Mr. Todd, I guess."

Mr. Todd looked frantically at Brooke. "Wait, what? Wasn't that just a game you guys were playing? That's not real life, is it?"

Micky opened her mouth to answer 'no', but Brooke wanted to mess with Mr. Todd some more. "Oh, believe me, it's real life, all right. You guys had better get married, or else… or else you guys will be cursed! With my magic…banana." She pulls out a random banana from behind her. "Say hello…banana."

Micky screamed, "MAGIC BANANAS!"

Brooke kept staring at Micky. "Yes. Magic…bananas…"

Mr. Todd looked like he was gonna burst into tears. "But…BUT I DONT WANNA GET MARRIED TO A…A…" He thought a moment, then turned to Micky. "Actually, I have no clue how to describe you."

"Nobody does," says Micky, then bursts into maniacal laughter while singing 'My Friends'. "YOU THERE, MY FRIEND, COME LET ME HOLD YOU." Mr. Todd looked depressed. He sniffled and pouted.

"But…but dat's _my_song," he whined loudly and pathetically (S/N: MICKY DID YOU JUST CALL ME PATHETIC? A/N: Shut up, Sweeney.)

Micky rolls her eyes and says, "_Fine_." Brooke jumps up and runs over to Micky, suggesting a song. Micky scowls at her, and says, "I blame _you_for this horrible mess, George."

Brooke laughs and says, "Oh, come on. Just sing it!"

Micky whines, "Do I havta do the…the, smooch, and the, the smooch?"

Brookes laughs a little harder and says, "Of course you do!"

Micky mumbles under her breath. "CrapcrapcrapcrapCRAPOLA!"

"JUST DO IT!"

"FINE!"

Micky looks over at Mr. Todd, who got bored with the conversation and was smiling creepily at one of his razors. She hesitantly walks up to him, and he doesn't notice a thing. He does notice, however when she leans up and, with a sickened face, smacks one on his cheek.

Well, more than one.

"Oh, Mr. Todd (bleh), *smooch* I'm so happy (pfft, yeah right), *smooch* I could *smooch* eat you up I really could (not, cuz that would be weird and gross)."

"I really don't approve of cannibalism, Miss…uh...wait, what_ is _your last name, anyhow?"

Micky muttered, "Well, it will be Todd soon…" as she threw a glare over at Brooke. "But currently, it's Burns." As she continued singing her song, Mr. Todd didn't react too much. When he was wearing that awesome black-and-white bathing suit, though, he kinda freaked out. "What…what the MEAT PIES am I wearing?"

Brooke leaned over to answer, because Micky was really into the song now. "Just be glad it's not a mankini."

Mr. Todd looked over, horrified at the word itself, and replied, "I don't know what that is, but if it's worse than this, I have no desire to learn."

Brooke whispered in his ear anyway, as Micky was almost done singing, and he promptly fainted. Micky looked over, and gasped. "What the crap did you do to mah SHMEXY AWESOME-EMO-FIANCE?" Micky wrinkled her nose. "You know, he looks less and less attractive the more we hang out with him." She shrugged. "Oh well, he's still hot. But anyway, what did you do to him?"

"I told him what a mankini was."

Micky gaped at her. "_WHY _WOULD YOU _DO_THAT? …wait, you didn't tell him about…"

"…about what?"

"…Bon Bon?"

"Oh, _heck _no!"

"Good. You would've either blinded him or killed him."

Brooke got a weird smile on her face.

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><p>If any of you know which Bon Bon I'm talking about… You know the horror, and it would've put Todd in cardiac arrest.<br>Brooke: Awesome!  
>Todd: *walks into room* What's awesome?<br>*shows Todd picture of Bon-bon*  
>Todd: GAHK! BLAURHG! IM DYING!<br>Micky: George! You MOOCHY PERSON YOU TRIED TO KILL MY MR. T!  
>Brooke: Haha, yeah, I kinda did.<p>

Btw, S/N equals Sweeney Note. Nyah.  
>Brooke's nickname is George, in case anyone was wondering…<br>~MickyinBoots


	4. MUUFFFIIIN

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT NEW. IT HAS BEEN EDITED.**  
>Well, here's chappie 4...<br>**SPECIAL GUEST STAR**=HAILEY JOHNSON!

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><p>"Omigosh, why is your boyfriend so dang <em>heavy!<em>"

"HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND."

Mr. Todd woke up to the bickering of the two girls. He remembered that he had fainted, but he couldn't remember what he had fainted about. He asked, and the girls looked at him. Brooke smiled and said, "Oh, I just told you what a-"

"BROOKE!"

"..._fine_."

Micky approached Mr. Todd and he made room on the bed he was on for her. She asked, "Hey, did you already go to the market and defeat Pirelli and everything yet? Or are we, like, right in the beginning if the movie?"

He scrunched his face up in confusement (A/N: 'Confusement' is NOT a word, btw). "What, are you _contemplative?_" Micky asked.

Brooke rolled her eyes and laughed. "That's _constipated_, Micky. CONSTIPATED."

Micky glared at her and said, "_Contemplative_ and _constipated_are two completely different things, kid." Brooke laughed again. "Micky, it's not like he can tell us what part of the movie we're in. He doesn't just keep reliving it!"

"Dang..." Micky said sadly. Mr. Todd felt a pull in his chest. He felt sorry for her, but he didn't know why exactly. His face softened. Brooke noticed.

"D'AW, MR. T LIKES MICKY!" She yelled. Micky turned to look at him. "Um...ew. No offense but...ew. My heart belongs to...*sigh* Wally FRIGGIN West..."

Brooke face-palmed.

Mr. Todd quickly looked around the room. "W-what! N-no I d-don't! That would just be creepy! How old are you guys, anyhow?"

Micky thought for a while. "Well, where we're from, I would be fourteen and she would be fifteen, but here...it might be different. Do you have a mirror?" She walked over to said mirror before he could answer. "WOAH! HOLY FRIJOLES! OMIGOSH, BROOKE! WE'RE, LIKE, 18!"

Brooke's eyes widened. "WHAAAAUUUUT?"

"YEAH! COME HERE AND LOOK!"

Brooke walked over to the little mirror in the bathroom and took a good long look at herself. "Creepy." She turned around and pointed to Mr. Todd. "How old are you?"

He gave her a weird look and hesitantly said, "Ummm...27..."

Brooke and Micky's eyes almost popped out of their heads. Their jaws fell. Mr. Todd knew what was wrong and he retorted, "Not everything is the same as in the movies, whatever those are."

The girls exchanged glances, and Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Well, that's awkward. But I guess you guys aren't SO far apart in age than we originally thought. Now it's perfectly fine if you get married!"

Micky smacked Brooke in the head. "BROOKE!"

"Well, it's true isn't it? What about your parents?" Micky thought about it. "Well, yeah, they're 9 years apart, but that's besides the-"

"_And_in old England, wasn't it normal for people to get married that were, like, 50 years apart?"

Micky sighed in defeat. "Yeah..."

"Alright then. Case in point." Brooke replied smugly. Oh, that smug little moocher. "Oh, you're a case alright!" Micky retorted. Brooke pfffted and left the room. Micky looked at Mr. Todd and reassured him, "Oh, don't worry about it. We'll only get married when Mrs. Lovett would've had her fantasy about marrying you."

Mr. Todd cried, "WHAT! MRS. LOVETT HAS A FANTASY ABOUT ME! WHY DO THEY EXIST!"

"Woah, calm down. I just said, you won't be marrying Mrs. Lovett, you'll be marrying me. Good day, Mr. Todd." He opened his mouth to say something. "I SAID GOOD DAY, SWEENEY!" Micky walked out of the room.

Mr. Todd sat there for a while. "Awkwaaaaaard."

He walked over to his mirror, grimaced, and whimpered, "Why do they exist," over and over until he passed out.

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><p>"I WANNA MUFFIN! <em>MUUFFFIIIN!"<em>

Micky and Brooke had walked to Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pie Shop, or whatever it's called. She didn't know that they were here, even though they stood staring at her for about 5 minutes. She jumped when Micky yelled at her and stared at the girls. "E-excuse me, love? A...a muffin? Wot are those?" She looked at them confused. Brooke rolled her eyes and sat down in a booth. "Just forget about the muffin, Micky. Do you wanna continue with the movie or what?"

Micky gasped. "Wait! We missed There's No Place Like London and Barber and His Wife! NOOOO!" She screamed in dismay. Mrs. Lovett continued standing there. "Umm...do you want a meat pie or what, loves?"

Micky ran screaming out of the shop. Brooke sighed and slowly stood up. "Well...I guess we'll be back in time for The Worst Pies in London. See ya!" And with that, she left the shop. Mrs. Lovett stood there for a while, then squished a bug on the counter behind her in a ninja-like fashion and went back to work.

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><p>Micky reached Mr. Todd's hotel room first. She burst through the door and screamed, "MR. TODD! WHERE ARE YOU MAN? TELL ME NOW OR I WILL SCREAM THAT YOU'RE KILLING ME!"<p>

Mr. Todd came out of the bathroom and into the main room muttering, "Trust me, that _will _be happening soon..." He glared at Micky, who was laying on his bed bouncing up and down and giggling like an idiot, then at Brooke who just ran into the room, panting and sweating. She looked up to Mr. Todd giving her a death-glare, and she held up her hands in an exhausted 'what?' gesture. He replied, "Glaring makes me feel better about myself, deal with it." Brooke's jaw dropped.

He turned to Micky, who was still jumping on his bed and grabbed her and set her down on the ground. She started to kick and bite at his face. At one point, they heard a deep, guttural sound that made Mr. Todd pause. He looked at Brooke, who was looking at Micky, so he did too. "Did...d-did you just...growl at me?"

Oh, she did all right.

She was about to kick him where the sun don't shine, when, all of a random sudden, their friend Hailey burst into the room holding a small piece of paper. "I'LL SAVE YOU!" She started folding like mad and when she was done, she held it in her hands, not letting anyone see it. Mr. Todd, extremely scared at this point, asked, "W-What is that?"

Micky replied, "MAH LASER! BLAH!"

Hailey looked at her and yelled, "SHUT UP!" Micky shut up.

"Now, as I was saying...it's a bird, it's a plane...nope, you had it right the first time!" She took the folded piece of paper and put the end in her mouth, and blew it at Mr. Todd's face. It hit him in the eye. He screamed and she swung her arms up in a victory pose, and yelled, "PWNED!"

She ran out the door, leaving Brooke rolling on the floor in a hysterical fit of laughter, Todd on his knees, clutching his eyeball screaming, "AAUUUUFHGHH MY EYEBALL GAGAAHHHGAFFLLJHDHEEEEK THE PAIN IT BUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNSSSS BLLLLAAARGH I'M DYYYIINNNGGG HELLLP MEEEEEEEEEE," or something like that, and Micky confused, staring at the door, then at Mr. Todd, then at the floor.

Once Brooke calmed down enough to speak, she crawled up to Mr. Todd and asked with a smile, "Are...*giggle*...are you okay? *snicker chortle chuckle*" He tried to glare, but it irritated his eye more, so he just smacked her. She fell on the floor again, still laughing. After a few moments, Mr. Todd looked around on the floor and picked up the piece of paper Hailey had blinded him with and took a look at it. He looked up in fury at Micky, except his eye still hurt (a lot), so that eye was twitching now and then. Micky pointed and laughed. "No way, Hailey! You did _not_just take out Sweeney Todd with a tiny paper crane! OMAHGAWSH YOU ARE SOOOOO BOSS!"

Mr. Todd fell on the floor, exhausted by how stupid these people were.

Micky walked over and helped Mr. Todd onto the bed. She pried his hand away (literally. His hand was like a leech), and looked at his eye. He sat still, but he pouted. "Oh, come on. It's not _that_ bad. My 7-year-old cousin Chloe is tougher than you." She gave him a friendly shove. He fell off the bed with a thump.

Micky continued, "Soooo...did you happen to thank that nice sailor who saved your life? You should, like, ya know, do somethin' for him..."

Mr. Todd looked at her funny. Her eyes widened and she punched him. "MR. TODD! YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS BROOKE! THE INSINUATION! LE GASP!" Mr. Todd looked at Brooke. She smiled evilly and replied, "Yep, I gotsa pretty dirty mind. But Becca's _waaaaaaaaay _worse." Micky nodded, agreeing to her statement.

"Well, anywho_, not_ what I meant. PLEASE don't get _any_ideas of...you know...THAT stuff...what I meant was that you could maybe...help him out in some way...give him something..." Brooke's smirk just grew wider and wider. Micky rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm NOT helping the situation. Just forget all that other stuff. Why don't you...sing him a song?"

Mr. Todd almost fainted again. "W-What? Sing him a...song?"

Brooke shrugged. "Well, yeah. What else would you sing him, a _penguin?_"

Mr. Todd shook his head. "I...I dunno...I don't like people..._especially _Anthony...but, I guess...sure."

Micky yelled in victory, striking the same pose as Hailey had earlier. She frowned and turned to Brooke. "Hey, we should really come up with a name for that pose. You know, for easy reference?" Brooke nodded.

"How about...Victory Pose?"

"Okay Brooke, even _you _know that's lame. Maybe...something to do with superheroes?"

Brooke said, "*GASP* YES!"

"How about...*GASP* the..._wait for iiiiit_...the Batpose."

"GASP TIMES THREE."

"RIGHT?"

"YES."

"Okay. So where were we...?" She struck the pose again, but this time she said, "Duhnuhduhnuhduhnuhduhnuh BATPOSE." Brooke sang along, "BATPOSE!"

Mr. Todd curled up on the bed and took a nap. His brain hurt from all this idiocy.

Brooke sighed and sat on the ground. Micky went up to her and patted her on the back saying, "Help is on the way, my friend." Brooke nodded and grabbed the crane, making it dance like Napoleon Dynamite.

Micky turned around quickly. "At least it better be..."

* * *

><p>OKAY THEN. Pfft, I have no idea how to spell 'Snuffleuffagous', so I deleted it...AND NO I WON'T GOOGLE IT. Plus this will probably be the last guest appearance of Hailey because she and I are drifting, and that's because of stuff that I should probably talk to someone about...ANYWHO. And apparently my cousin Chloe is 7 instead of 5...I know, I know, that's horrible. But she and her bro love me...<p>

_UNHOLY CRAP_, BATMAN! IT'S ALREADY 8:45! I STARTED WORKING ON THIS AT LIKE 7:00! Ugh, I'm terrible...oh well, _you know you still love me_...  
>Todd: No I don't. Remember, I don't like people.<br>Micky: But you love meeeeeee! You can't deny iiiiiit...  
>Todd: Ugh, I'm <em>so<em> glad you don't own me...  
>Micky: *smirkevil grin* Aw, you know that's your lifelong dream...  
>Todd: Umm, not really-<br>Micky: *strikes pose but falls on butt*  
>Todd: *Looks down at Micky. Walks away*<br>Micky: Owww...  
>Brooke: *walks in and sees Micky. Walks away*<p>

Review, or I'll probably just end up hurting myself again.  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	5. Sucks for you

Woot hoot! Chapter 5! So... How's it going?  
>Well, I posted all my chappies a few days ago, so I decided to write chapter 5, if anyone will actually read and review. Oh, well...<p>

Disclaimer: Mr. Todd is not mine, but he's coming over tonight to watch Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, the stupidest, yet amazingest movie in the world. We will also eat pudding.

Yeah, I'll let you know how that goes...

The trio were walking down to the harbor. Micky decided it would look cool to pretend to walk in slow-motion, so while the other two walked away from her, she dramatically slowed her pace. Mr. Todd noticed and he turned and asked, "What are you doing, you shtupid twit?" Brooke gasped and exclaimed, "Woah! How did you know her nickname?" She smirked.

Micky walked up to him and asked, "Can you read minds? Are you a vampire? Do you know Edward? *gasp* Are you Edward? SPARKLE FOR ME! I COMMAND YOU!"

Brooke did a face palm.

Mr. Todd whimpered and backed away. He backed up a little too far, though. He fell into the harbor with a loud splash. Micky laughed her head off. Mr. Todd shook himself off and acted like nothing had happened.

They wandered around a bit, pointing to ships and asking if Mr. Todd had sailed on that one, but each time he shook his head no. (A/N: Haha, at first I put 'nom') They finally came up to a ship and Mr. Todd finally nodded. Brooke started to spazz out. "OK LET'S DO THIS! THE SOONER THEY SING, THE SOONER THEY'LL SING JOHANNA!" Just then, Anthony walked by. He smiled and walked over. "Mr. Todd! I was just on my way to find you! How have you been, my friend?"

Mr. Todd grunted.

Anthony looked at Micky and Brooke. His gaze lingered on Brooke, for she was pretty much drooling in the girly-man's presence. Micky swatted her and got a handful of spit. She grimaced and wiped it on Anthony, who freaked out. Mr. Todd rolled his eyes. 'Stupid...' he thought.

Anthony carefully took off the drool-covered coat and tried to smile. "And who are these... Lovely *twitch* young ladies?" Mr. Todd laughed. He laughed so hard he fell into the harbor again. This time Anthony laughed. Brooke and Micky yawned. This was old news. They did laugh, however, when Anthony fell in too. They both acted like nothing had happened.

Micky whined, "Oh, just sing the song already!"

Anthony looked up. "A song? Oh boy!" He started to jump up and down, clapping his hands together rapidly like London Tipton. Brooke's eyes widened. She leaned over to Micky's ear and whispered, "Suddenly, he's looking a lot less hot." She looked over at Mr. Todd and smirked shmexily. She did a sexy growl that would make Becca run away. Micky followed Brooke's gaze and looked back at her incredulously. "You, I mean... Him... He's..." Brooke looked at her incessant babbling. Micky looked back at Mr. Todd.

"Okay, he is pretty shmexy. BUT that's only because he's played by Johnny Depp." Brooke nodded, agreeing.

Micky decided to join the other two again, not wanting to miss any of the songs. "Okay, Anthony... SING." He started to sing, but Micky stopped him. "Um, I'm just gonna, you now, stand over there while you sing..." She walked into an alleyway where the guys wouldn't hear her singing along. Brooke followed her.

I have sailed the world  
>Beheld it's wonders<br>From the Dardanelles  
>To the mountains of Peru<br>BUT THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE LONDON

No, there's no place like London...

Micky got bored real fast and sank to the ground, listening to them talk. She started to sing again at:

I too have sailed the world  
>And seen it's wonders<br>For the cruelty of men  
>Is as wondrous as Peru<br>BUT THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE LONDON

Micky came out of her alley and clapped. They looked at her funny, for some reason unknown to her. She shrugged and started to sing in a serious voice:

There was a barber and his wife

She looked at Mr. Todd. He took the hint and sang with her.

And she was beautiful  
>A foolish barber and his wife<br>She was his reason and his life  
>And she was beautiful<br>And she was virtuous  
>And he was...<br>Naive

Micky was actually a really good singer. When she wanted to be. Mr. Todd obviously noticed this and he stopped singing. He knew she was too into the music to notice him stopping. She continued crooning:

There was another man who saw  
>That she was beautiful<br>A pious vulture of the law

Brooke nudged Mr. Todd. She whispered, "What does pious mean?" He punched her to shut her up.

Who with a gesture of his claw  
>Removed the barber from his plate<br>Then there was nothing but to wait  
>And she would fall<br>So soft  
>So young<br>So lost  
>And oh, so beautiful...<p>

Anthony turned to Mr. Todd and asked, "And the lady, sir. Did she succumb?" Brooke nudged Mr. Todd again. "What does succumb mean?" He punched her again. He opened his mouth to answer, but Micky sang out:

Oh that was many years ago  
>(Pause)<br>I doubt if  
>Anyone would know<p>

She just now realized that she had been singing alone. Her jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out. She glared at Brooke and mouthed, 'I blame you'. Brooke gasped and acted insulted. Micky regained her composure and looked at Anthony. He was clapping and jumping again and acting like such a girl. Again. She smirked at Mr. Todd while telling Anthony, "You might find him if you like. Around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder." Mr. Todd gaped at her incredulously. Anthony squealed and walked away.

Mr. Todd hissed when Anthony was out of earshot, "Why would you do that? Obviously he's a girl in disguise! What if... What if he tries to... You know...Seduce me?" He gulped at the thought. Brooke covered her ears and sang out, "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU AND YOUR YUCKINESS!"

Micky shrugged, still mad at him for making her sing alone. "Sucks for you, I guess." She shoved him in the water again. Brooke laughed

Oh, Brooke and Big Words... You do not go together.  
>Stupid Mr. T. Making me sing alone. Well, I wasn't making my character perfect if you were wondering. I have been told I am an excellent singer. Singing alone makes me awkward inside. Like intimidation. That makes me feel icky. I don't respond well to that. That was so a Secret Window quote. Omigosh, I cannot spell today! Stupid Nook, I blame you! This took like 10 minutes longer than it needed to! Gah! Oh well...<br>Oh, and just for Brooke...

Pious- practiced or used in the name of real or pretended religious motives... Huh, I never really knew that. That makes sense.  
>Succumb- give way to superior force. Ok, I knew that one, don't worry guys.<br>~MickyinBoots


	6. Help me

Chapter 6

Ok, I have officially been on a roll. I'm already on Chapter 6! Yay! Well, if you're wondering about how that night with Mr. Todd went, Todd tried to scoot next to me on the couch and put his arm around me. I did a ninja move and flipped him across the room. He got so mad; he threw my pudding at me! Then we had a pudding fight, and then I tackled him and then we calmed down and kept watching the movie. Then he tried to make a move again! I got ready to kill him, or at least tell him to stop, but then he told me I didn't own him, so he could do whatever he wanted! Stupid DreamWorks! YOU MADE MR. TODD GET COZY WITH ME ON MY COUCH! WILL THIS MADNESS EVER END? Ok, I'm done ranting now.  
>So enjoy while I plan another evening with Mr. Todd. What? Trust me, I did NOT enjoy it, I just have no one else to hang out with.<br>...I'm such a loser.  
>Oh, ok, so the little things during the song.<br>*= Mrs. Lovett's actions  
>(*= Micky's actions<br>Brooke doesn't have any actions cuz she's a loser.

* * *

><p>The group started to walk towards the alley that would lead them to Mrs. Lovett's Meat Shop or whatever it was. Mr. Todd was all pouty because 1) he fell into the harbor three times, and he was sopping wet, 2) Micky had pretty much told that girlish Anthony everything about him and now he had to prepare to have him making moves on him (AN: PAYBACK SUCKS, DON'T IT?), and 3) he's Mr. Todd. What do you expect?

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with s-"

"Okay, we're here!" Brooke and Micky interrupted. Mr. Todd looked around spasmodically, turning in a few circles, and asked, "What... What the bloody heck! How did we get here so fast?" Micky shrugged and offered, "This is London. It's dysfunctional. Get used to it." Mr. Todd is like, "... Ohhhh..."

They opened the door to Mrs. Lovett Pies of Meat or whatever, and she STILL didn't notice them. She was beating a piece of dough, and Brooke was pretty sure she saw a tear run down to the counter and heard it softly weeping, "Help me..."

Mr. Todd and Micky gave her a look and leaned in next to her. Mr. Todd asked, "Tell me you guys heard that too." They both nodded and looked at Mrs. Lovett again. She had stopped beating the helpless dough and was drooling at Mr. Todd. He looked like he was tired of people drooling, but before he could strangle her with all his being, the girls stepped in front of him to block Mrs. Lovett's view. She scowled. She apparently recognized them.

She chucked her rolling pin at Micky's head, but she ducked and it nailed Mr. Todd in the face. He fell on the floor. Brooke and Micky looked down at him despairingly for a moment. They shrugged and walked up to Mrs. Lovett. She put her elbow on the counter wearily; giving up like throwing a rolling pin was completely exhausting. "Is there somethin' ya want, loves?"

Micky opened her mouth to say muffins, but Brooke was faster and she jammed a piece of dough in her mouth. Brooke rolled her eyes at Micky trying to cough the thing back up, and said, "I guess some meat pies." Mrs. Lovett gasped and straightened.

_A customer!  
>Wait what's your rush, what's your hurry?<em>

She grabbed Micky by the shoulder, who was currently trying to crawl out the door.

_Gave me such a fright  
>I thought you was a ghost<em>

Micky glanced back at her and said, "We stood there for five minutes! You didn't even notice us?"  
><em><br>Half a minute can't ya  
>Sit, sit ya down<br>SIT!_

She shoved both the girls into a booth and they landed with a thud, knocking their heads together painfully.

_All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks  
>Did you come in for a pie, loves?<em>

Micky stared at her. "We just said that, yes."

_Do forgive me if me head's a little vague  
>What is that? *shrug at cockroach taking a dump on a pie*<br>But you'd think we had the plague  
>From the way that people<br>Keep avoiding. No you don't!_

She threw another piece of dough at Micky's face when she tried to stand up. Micky went, "AAAARRRHG," and tried to pull the piece of sticky dough off of her face. Mrs. Lovett looked to see if anyone was watching, and picked up the cockroach pie and laid it in front of Brooke.

_Heaven knows I try, loves  
>But there's no one comes in even to inhale<br>Right you are, love, would you like a drop of ale?_

She gestured to Brooke, who was gagging on a meat pie, trying to get the taste of cockroach crap out of her mouth. Micky was laughing at her. Brooke recovered enough to glare at them and say, "I'm a minor, gosh-darnit!"

_Mind you I can hardly blame them  
>These are probably the worst pies in London<em>

Micky looked at her with a 'no, duh' expression while Brooke nodded.

_I know why nobody cares to take them  
>I should know, I make 'em<br>But good, no! *shakes head*  
>The worst pies in London<br>Even that's polite  
>The worst pies in London<br>If you doubt it take a bite..._

Micky crunched into it cautiously. It felt as though she was being strangled from the inside out. Brooke pointed and laughed at her. But since she can't hold any food in her hands without eating it, including Mrs. Lovett's Nuclear Diarrhea Pies, she took another bite. She started to wretch again.

_Is that just disgusting? (*nod nod nod*)  
>You'll have to concede it<br>It's nothing but crusting (*weird look*)  
>Here drink this, you'll need it<em>

She handed them each a pint of ale. Rushing to get the taste out of their mouths, they both took a giant swig. They did a fabulous spit-take. Brooke ran outside to puke in a plant standing by the door. Micky made a sound that sounded like Edward when he was given lemonade.

_The worst pies in London  
>And no wonder with the price of meat what it is<br>When ya get it  
>Never thought I'd live to see the day<br>Men'd think it was a treat  
>Finding poor animals<br>Wot are dying in the street (*horrified expression*)_

Micky was getting really freaked out now. Sure, she was crazy in the movie, but in real life... Yeesh.

_Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop *glares at dough again*  
>Does a business but I notice somethin' weird *looks at the girls conspiratorially*<br>Lately all her neighbor's cats have disappeared (*horrified expression, even more so*)  
>Have to hand it to her<br>Wot I calls enterprise  
>Poppin' pussies into pies (*starts to weep*) <em>

Micky looked over at Mr. Todd. He was still out cold. His black eye (well, blacker eye) was already starting to form.

_Wouldn't do in my shop (*relieved expression*)  
>Just the thought of it's enough to make ya sick (*nod nod*)<br>And I'm telling ya them pussycats is quick (*sick AND horrified expression*)  
>No denying times is hard, love<br>Even harder than the worst pies in London_

She demonstrated this by bringing a random sledge-hammer out of nowhere and slamming the pie. It made Micky jump AND an indent in the counter. She opened her eyes and they widened. The pie had been completely unaffected. She looked at Mrs. Lovett worriedly. "What are these made of? Cement?"  
><em><br>Only lard and nothing more (*eeeeww expression*)  
>Is that just revolting (*nod nod nod nod nod nod NOD*)<br>All greasy and gritty (*blech face*)  
>It looks like it molting (*thank you for reminding me...*)<br>And tastes like..._

She looked at Micky. Micky looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with the deranged woman. Mrs. Lovett huffed at her.

_Well, pity a woman alone (*meh...*)  
>With limited wind (*what kind of wind are we talking about exactly...*)<br>And the worst pies in London!_

She leaned on the counter.

_Ah, love...  
>Times is hard<br>Times is hard!_

She smashed a cockroach without even flinching. Brooke waved at all the people giving her funny looks and staggered back into the pie shop. "Help me pick up this idiot again, Micky."

Micky rolled her eyes. "Fine."

* * *

><p>Woohoo! Ok, sorry that I made Lovett sound like a creeper in this story. She's almost as bad as Humpty Dumpty. Okay, not that bad. But seriously, have you seen him? He's so creepy! And apparently he wears no underwear! But honestly, Lovett is pretty ninja-like. OMIGOSH SOMETHING'S IN MY ROOM IT JUST MADE SOMETHING MOVE AROUND IT MADE A CREEPY NOISE OMIGOSH... Oh, wait. It was just the wind... False alarm. :3<br>Well, nothing else to say 'cept... REVIEW!  
>... Ooh, and I'm teaching myself a little French for my Puss in Boots fanfic! Oh, sorry, you wanna get on with your lives? Sorry.<br>~MickyinBoots


	7. HAUNTED

Chapter 7

Wow. I just wrote chappie six a few days ago and I'm already starting chappie 7. Huh. Well, I haven't really been updating my other stories. That's probably it. Haha, I like the word chappie.

* * *

><p>By the time Micky and Brooke dragged Mr. Todd into the parlor, he had awoken. Mrs. Lovett came in with a few tumblers of gin, like she didn't just witness that puking episode of Brooke's.<p>

Mr. Todd chugged his down. Micky and Brooke are all like, "Eeeeew..."

"Here we are now, loves. That'll warm ya right up." Micky and Brooke looked at each other funny and then said, "Um, when did we say we were cold?"

Mrs. Lovett ignored us. Typical.

Brooke chugged hers, but coughed it right back up. She will never ever learn. Micky laughed at her.

Mr. Todd swayed a bit, then asked, "Is that a room upstairs? If times are so hard, why not rent it out?" Mrs. Lovett looked up at the room above, then back to him and said, "Oh, that? No one'll go near it. People say it's haunted."

"Haunted?" Mr. Todd cocked an eyebrow.

"HAUNTED!" Micky screamed in his ear. Mr. Todd pushed her away and waved at Mrs. Lovett, encouraging her to continue. But she thought he was just waving at her, so she grinned and waved back. Mr. Todd shook his head at the hopelessness of this story.

Mrs. Lovett shrugged at him ad looked at Brooke. "Ya see, years ago, something happened up there."

Brooke asked, "Something not very nice?"

Mrs. Lovett glared and punched her. "YES! NOW LET ME TELL THE STORY, DANGIT WOMAN!" Brooke rubbed the spot on her arm where Mrs. Lovett had punched her. Micky whined, "Tell us the story..." Mrs. Lovett smiled at her.

_There was a barber and his wife  
>And he was beautiful...<em>

Micky whispered the lyrics to herself. Mrs. Lovett looked at her.

_A proper artist with a knife  
>But they transported him for life<br>And he was beautiful..._

"Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker." She said sadly. Mr. Todd looked up at her. "What was his crime?"

Micky could contain herself no longer. She looked at Brooke, but she was spent from her pumped stomach. "Foolishness," Micky told him. The adults looked at her, but she ignored them and continued singing.

_He had this wife, you see  
>Pretty little thing<br>Silly little nit  
>Had the chance for the moon on a string<br>Poor thing...  
>Poor thing...<em>

Micky cast a sad eye at Mr. Todd. He had no idea where she was going with this. This was one of the saddest parts of the movie.

_There was this judge, you see  
>Wanted her like mad<br>Every day he'd send her a flower  
>But did she come down from her tower?<br>Sat up there and sobbed by the hour  
>Poor fool...<br>Ah, but there was worse yet to come  
>Poor thing<em>

She paused, imagining the music in her head. She grew somber and she sat next to Mr. Todd and gently put a hand on his shoulder.

_The Beadle calls on her all polite  
>Poor thing! Poor thing!<br>The Judge he tells her is all contrite  
>He blames himself for her dreadful plight<br>She must come straight to his house tonight  
>Poor thing!<em>

He looked at her, partially intrigued, but she could tell there was a part of him that indicated he didn't want to continue listening.

_Of course when she goes there  
>Poor thing, poor thing<br>They're having this ball all in masks  
>There's no one she knows there<br>Poor dear, poor thing  
>She wanders tormented and drinks<br>Poor thing_

Mr. Todd is getting visibly tense now. His hands are clenching and unclenching, over and over.

_The Judge has repented she thinks  
>Poor thing<br>Oh, where is Judge Turpin  
>She asks<em>

Micky looks at Mr. Todd then closes her eyes, remembering the movie and all its horridness. Not that it wasn't good, it was just that this part made her somber is all.

_He was there all right  
>Only not so contrite!<em>

She shook her head, then remembered Brooke sitting on the floor. 'I swear, if she makes a wise crack now, I'll turn her nostrils inside out,' she thought.

_She wasn't a match for such craft  
>You see<br>And everyone thought it so droll  
>They figured she had to be daft<br>You see  
>So all of 'em stood there and laughed you see<br>Poor soul!  
>Poor thing!<em>

She waited for the telltale scream of anguish.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

There we go.

"Did no one have mercy on her?"

Brooke said, "Nope." She started walking upstairs. Micky looked back at him, expecting him to murder Brooke for her bluntness. He just stared at Micky, then shrugged and said, "'Kay."

Micky gasped and asked, "You aren't sad at all? I just told you that your wife was raped and you say 'kay'? Seriously?"

He shrugged again and said, "Meh, it'll sink in soon enough."

"Oh."

They went upstairs to look at his cool razors. He didn't know that of course...

* * *

><p>Haha, oh Brooke, you can be so blunt sometimes... I had to break the somberness and angst somehow, and Brooke was just screaming for it, so yeah. Anyways, Mrs. Lovett wasn't ALL that creepy in this one, I don't think. But anyways, I may not update for a bit. But knowing me, the weak person I am, I might update again on the weekend. But I have a ton of stuff on my To Do list. So don't be surprised if I don't update for a while... Sorry. Review and I might update faster... :3<br>~MickyinBoots


	8. MICKY T3H PWNZ3r

What has it been, like, 4 or 5 weeks? Sorry, guys. I've had friend issues, school issues, homework issues, and I had my tonsils taken out. And tissue issues... Hehe, yeah right... And in the midst of all this, I fell in love with Ichabod Crane all over again. He is now my snuggle-buddy. More about that on my profile...

Sorry I haven't thanked anybody for the reviews! Special thanks to:  
>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane<br>XerynTarragon  
>MidnightChiller13<p>

It's nice to know that someone actually finds me funny! Sorry for the wait!

And I have to try and remember to write down all the references! Gosh! Okay, I'll try and do it every ten chapters, so there'll be like a short chapter with all the references, just to let you know. I'll probably forget that too, though...

* * *

><p>The room upstairs was exactly how it looks in the movie. It had the fading yellow wallpaper and the shattered mirror. There wasn't much else besides that and Brooke commented, "Wow, you should really have Ty Pennington renovate this place. You know, put in a sushi bar over there, maybe a pinball machine over there..." she said while gesturing to different parts of the room.<p>

Micky laughed while Mrs. Lovett rolled her eyes and patted the floor. Todd lifted the blanket over the crib and stared for a while. Micky looked over his shoulder and grimaced at the decomposed doll lying there.

"Here we are," she finally said, and Todd looked at her. "What? What is it? Tell me, woman!" He started to shake Mrs. Lovett by her shoulders and she was a little dazed when he let her go. She dizzily pointed to the box on the floor, and tried to fall into Todd's arms, but he moved to the box and she fell down with a loud smack.

He knelt slowly beside it and unwrapped it from the cloth. He opened it and started to drool. Brooke tried to say in a fake British accent, "Them handles is chased silver, ain't they?" Micky shook her head and showed up Brooke with her own British accent.

"No, Brooke. You can't talk in a British accent, you suck at it. No offense."

Brooke shrugged and said, "Eh, when you say it like that, I'm not offended."

"All right. Now… Them handles is chased silver, ain't they?" Micky poked Todd.

He snapped out of his reverie and his head whipped around. "Huh, what? Oh… silver… yes…"

He picked out one of them and started to sing.

_These are my friends_  
><em>See how they glisten<em>  
><em>See this one shine<em>  
><em>How he smiles in the light<em>  
><em>My friend<em>  
><em>My faithful friend…<em>

He stood and walked away. Micky followed and started a duet, but was kind enough to let Mrs. Lovett keep hers. Well, for now. Harmonizing with Mr. Todd, she sang:

_Speak to me friends_  
><em>Whisper, I'll listen<em>  
><em>I know, I know<em>  
><em>You've been locked<em>  
><em>Out of sight all these years<em>  
><em>Like me, my friends<em>

Micky started to sing in an opera voice and Brooke laughed and Mrs. Lovett looked at her, but Todd still ignored her.

_Well I've come home_  
><em>To find you waiting<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>And we're together<em>  
><em>And we'll do wonders<em>  
><em>Won't we?<em>

Now Mrs. Lovett started to sing, pushing and shoving Micky to try and stand next to Todd.

_You there my friend (I'm you're friend too Mr. Todd)_  
><em>Come let me hold you (If you only knew Mr. Todd. Ooh, Mr. Todd)<em>  
><em>You grow warm in my hand (You're warm in my hand)<em>  
><em>My friends (You've come home)<em>  
><em>My clever friends (Always had a fondness for you I did)<em>

Brooke was now trying to get in on the action too, singing off key on purpose, but only Micky gave her a funny look. She sighed and sat down, playing imaginary pinball.

_Rest now my friends (Never you fear, Mr. Todd)_  
><em>Soon I'll unfold you (You can move in here Mr. Todd)<em>  
><em>Soon you'll know splendors you never have dreamed all your days (Will be yours)<em>  
><em>My lucky friends (I'm your friend)<em>  
><em>Till now your shine (Don't they shine beautiful)<em>  
><em>Was merely silver (Silver's good enough for me)<em>

"No, it's good enough for ME!" Micky punched Mrs. Lovett in the stomach and tackled her to the ground. Brooke got down next to them and pounded the floor. "1, 2, 3! SHE'S OUT! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! GIVE IT UP FOR MICKY T3H PWNZ3R!" Micky flexed her tiny muscles for the audience, which consisted of Todd, but he was smiling at his razors like a pedophile. Micky rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, yeah. The stupid song…"

_Friends_  
><em>You shall drip rubies<em>  
><em>You'll soon drip precious<em>  
><em>Rubies<em>

Brooke yawned, breaking the silent moment. Todd glared at her and she shrieked right back at him. He looked weirded out for a second, but then he went back to menacing. "Get out," he whispered. Brooke pouted and refused. "No," she said indignantly. He glared at her again before turning to Micky. She got the message and made for the door when Todd said, "Don't go," in a tiny voice.

She slowly turned around and looked at him, cocking her head to one side. "Did… did you just go Edward on me?"

Todd pouted and held out his arms pitifully. Micky looked flabbergasted. She managed to stammer out, "Y-you want a… a hug?"

Todd wailed and nodded his head ferociously. Micky walked very slowly to where he was standing and put one arm around him, then the other. He sobbed on her head, drenching her hair with his tears. She grimaced. "Ew…" She started patting his back. "Um… there, there… it'll be okay, Mr. T…"

He didn't believe her apparently, because he cried all night, leaving Micky to hold him awkwardly until the next morning.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Micky stumbled down the stairs. Todd had finally passed out from lack of water in his system and Micky could go free. When Brooke saw her, the first thing she said was:<p>

"What the crap happened to you, PWNZ3R?"

How caring that woman could be.

"Mr. Todd doused my hair with his bitter tears of shame and remorse."

"Micky, stop talking in fanfiction, please."

Mrs. Lovett came in with some meat pies and set them down, but before she could say anything, the group heard Mr. Todd yell:

"AT LAST! MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!" All of a sudden, blaring dramatic music starting playing from out of nowhere. The girls looked around spasmodically, and Lovett hid under the table. The music stopped, and Mr. Todd came down the stairs. He looked at the cowering trio and walked away, muttering, "There is something off about those two. But not me, no of course not. I am completely sane, aren't I, Gillette?" He started laughing like a maniac and when he was out of sight, Brooke shrieked at him.

* * *

><p>AT LAST! THIS CHAPTER AND MY UNPLANNED HIATUS ARE FINISHED! Aw, Mr. T, are you going soft on me?<br>Todd: NEVER! I just… I had something in my eye!  
>Micky: So you cried for 12 hours and you still didn't get it out?<br>Todd: YOUR MOM!  
>Micky: Hates you.<br>Todd: …  
>Micky: *SIGH* Review, please, while I deal with this crybaby?<br>Todd: I am NOT! *sucks thumb*  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	9. RAAAAAAAAAAAPE

Sweenery Todder 9 peeps! It's good to be back, and it's nice to get so many nice reviews. I think I have only ever gotten one really critical review and that was the second one I got on my first one-shot.  
>O.o<br>But anywho thanks again! I'm getting way off track from where this story was supposed to be, but its better this way, so it's all good.  
>Um, and please review. I have 9 chapters up and I only have around 6 reviews. I have WAY more hits than that, and if you stop by, just leave a little note so I know if I'm doing okay.<p>

So, long story short, I need some lovin'.  
>BADABABABA, I'M LOVIN' IT! … No? Okay.<p>

I still don't own anything, so don't get any ideas.

Well, sorry to the reviewers, I do not believe I have properly thanked you yet…  
>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane: Ha, thanks.<br>XerynTarragon: Thank you!  
>MidnightChiller13: Oh my Bob, you say that too!<br>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane: It did hurt. Not fun. But yeah, I couldn't think of any different names, so… XD  
>MahFrehndsArShinee: Yes, HUZZAH! Brookey thanks you! And don't worry, I'll restrain Mr. T.<br>Boredom-Kills-Big-Time: Please breath. I don't want someone passing out because of me XD No Johnny Depp would be the end of the world. Ha, it's okay for stalking me, as long as you leave reviews… And no, this story is not finished yet.

* * *

><p>After the episode with Mr. Todd weeping, Micky was a little afraid to approach him. He came back out from the parlor (where he had disappeared to after said episode) with a bottle of gin in his hands. He looked grumpy, and Brooke looked at Mrs. Lovett and said, "Out of gin. He's gonna go ballistic."<p>

Mrs. Lovett had no idea what she was talking about, but before she could say anything, Mr. Todd was standing right in front of her. She looked up to find him glaring down at her, nostrils flaring vigorously. She cowered back and he moved on to Brooke, doing the same thing. She was about a foot shorter than he was, but she shrieked at him anyway.

Which was about the dumbest move she could've made.

But then again, we're talking about Brooke here, so…

Todd leaned down to her height, and for a second there she looked scared. He just picked her up by the scruff of her neck (which was very hard to do because 1) only animals carry their babies that way and 2) she was ticklish) and moved her out of the way. She stuck her tongue out at his back and she was lucky he didn't notice.

Micky had been watching from underneath the table. She tried to hide from Todd, but he was like the Terminator (A/N: … which I have never seen). He crouched and glared at her, making her shake in her custom baby seal leather boots (not that she even had some). He grabbed her foot and started pulling her out. She screamed and tried to claw her way free, but it was useless. Mr. Todd had the strength of a yak and without the nasty smell.

He pulled her out and threw her over his shoulder unceremoniously. Brooke was shrieking at him, trying to get him to put her down. Mrs. Lovett was trying to save Brooke's life, pulling her away from him. Micky was bawling, thinking she was going to die. Mr. Todd turned around and said, "I'll be back."

He carried her up to his shop and Micky was hanging on for dear life. She was still bawling. He put her down on the chest thingy (A/N: Why can I never remember these things?) Micky took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She summoned all of her inner power and when Mr. Todd touched her arm to see if she was okay, she finally let all that energy flow out of her mouth:

"RAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"

Mr. Todd stopped and stared at Micky. She could hear Brooke laughing downstairs. The next moment, Judge Turpin burst into the room, looking around wildly. "WHERE?" He stopped when he saw Mr. T was glaring at him. He put his hands behind his back and started backing out of the room, whistling nonchalantly. Too bad he didn't turn around.

He let out a yell as he tumbled down the stairs and into the street. Mr. Todd ran outside and pointed at him, laughing his head off.

He came back inside and Micky was completely confused on what was going on. It finally processed and she fell to the ground in laughter. Todd stepped in front of her, however, and she stopped and stared cross-eyed at his boots. She whimpered and slowly looked up at his face and screamed.

* * *

><p>Brooke was downstairs when she heard Micky scream. She dropped her Barbie and Spiderman on the floor and bolted upright. She ran towards the stairs, but Mrs. Lovett held her back. Brooke cried, "I GOTTA SAVE HER! I MUST GO AND SAVE HER! LEMME GO!" But she didn't, so Brooke was forced to give up and collapse in Mrs. Lovett's arms. She started sobbing melodramatically and threw her hand over her forehead like a damsel in distress.<p>

"OH, CRY! OH, SOB! OH… wait, what was I crying about again? Oh, yeah… OH, MICKY!"

Mrs. Lovett rolled her eyes, and in her momentary distraction, she loosened her grip. Brooke took advantage of this and elbowed Lovett right in the left breasticle. She fell in pain and Brooke got away. She rushed up the stairs, screaming, "OH WEEP, OH AGONY, OH-"

She stopped.

"Tea party?"

Micky and Mr. T looked up from their places on the floor. They both scooted over so they could hide what they had been doing, but Brooke had seen enough and it was actually pretty obvious.

Tea party.

There was a tablecloth laying on the floor and tiny white teacups. The teacups had little pink and red flowers on them, and Todd had set out matching plates, spoons, and napkins. Micky and Mr. T were sitting there whistling. Well, Mr. T was. Micky couldn't whistle, so she was sticking her tongue out and blowing raspberries repeatedly. Mr. T hit her upside the head, but she just turned and ended up spitting in his face.

Brooke shoved them aside and took in the scene. A smirk slowly grew on her face until it was stretched from ear to ear. Not literally, I don't believe that's possible.

She grinned at Micky, then at Mr. T. He sighed and shook his head in defeat. It was quiet for about 2 minutes, then Mr. T asked quietly:

"Do you… wanna join us?"

Brooke sat down and held out a teacup. She beamed (a little too brightly) at him and said, "OF COURSE I WOULD." He eyed her carefully and poured some tea in her cup. She took an overly loud slurp and chugged all of it down before spitting it right back out again. She stuck out her tongue and tears welled up in her eyes. She waved her hands rapidly to cool down her burning mouth. "ITH HOTH!"

Micky rolled her eyes and said, "No crap, Sherlock."

She wailed and Micky suspected that Mrs. Lovett was scared out of her wits. Mr. T poured Brooke some more and watched in amusement as Brooke sipped this one very slowly. Micky laughed as Mr. T poured hers. She was about to drink hers, when she suddenly thought of something.

She cautiously put her cup down and asked slowly, "You haven't by any chance bludgeoned someone to death with your teapot recently, have you?"

Mr. T just looked at her while Brooke spit her tea out again.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Lovett decided that she should probably go up and check to see if the girls were still alive. She wiped away a tear and sniffled loudly. "And just when I was 'bout to ask 'em to stay an' be me 'lil girls. Oh well." She got up out of the booth she had been crying in and trudged outside to the stairs, but stopped when she saw Brooke skipping down them.<p>

To say Mrs. Lovett was ecstatic would be an understatement.

She embraced Brooke tightly and squeezed until Brooke's eyes were about to roll out of her skull. She pulled back and Lovett frantically said, "Where's your sister, love? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" She shook Brooke roughly and Brooke made weird sounds as she flailed back and forth.

Lucky for Brooke, Micky appeared behind Mrs. Lovett just then. Lovett turned around and squealed. She hugged Micky the same as she had Brooke, suffocatingly and strongly.

Of course all of this pales in light of the fact that Mr. Todd was standing right there.

Lovett threw Micky into Brooke and they both fell to the ground. They rubbed their heads while Lovett squeezed Mr. T the hardest of all. She was even strong enough that when she jumped up and down, she took Mr. T with her. He just looked confused.

Micky looked at Brooke and sarcastically said, "Gee, it's good to be loved."

* * *

><p>STUPID SPELL CHECK! 'SUFFOCATINGLY' IS SO A WORD!<p>

Well, as it turns out, updates and such have gotten farther and farther apart. I'm working on other stuff, mostly stories, concept art, watching TV, school, and other stuff I can't remember right now.  
>Right now, I'm watching Teen Titans XD I love this show so much…<br>So, yeah, don't expect me to update super soon. Sowwy… But I promise you, this story IS NOT OVER. I WILL finish it, but it may be a while…  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	10. Chocolate hair

Okay, like I said, I'll be disclaiming everything from the previous chapters. Here goes…

I do not own: Sweeney Todd, Johnny Depp, Suite Life on Deck, Tim Burton, PotC, Sesame Street, various youtube parodies, Psych, Dylan Sprouse, Bon Bon, Brock's Dubs, Monty Python, Edward Cullen, Secret Window, Edward Scissorhands, Puss in Boots, Ty Pennington, and probably anything else that sounds familiar to you guys…

I fail horribly. Please don't sue.

* * *

><p>After the tea party, Brooke and Micky just couldn't take Todd seriously any more. Mrs. Lovett didn't know about it, but after the girls had returned, she just assumed that they were all one big happy family. Ha, right. She was treating Todd like her husband now, and it was freaking him out.<p>

So the day after the incident, the girls went up to Todd's parlor and he looked up from his brooding. He groaned when he saw who it was. He really didn't know what came over him that day, but it was something weird. He knew he would never live it down now.

The girls were smirking and he knew he was in trouble. "What do you want?" he asked in his monotone voice. Brooke and Micky rocked back and forth on their heels, looking nonchalant.

"Oh… nothing…"

Then Brooke broke down and got on her knees. "Please, please, please, please, PLEASE can we play with your razors?" Todd stared at her and said firmly, "NO."

Micky pouted and said, "But DADDY…" Todd glared at her. "Mommy said we could." Mommy? He growled.

Mrs. Lovett had brainwashed his girls. He shook Brooke and yelled in her face. "BROOKE, THIS IS NOT LIKE YOU. YOU DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH MY RAZORS. MRS. LOVETT IS NOT YOUR MOMMY. I AM NOT YOUR DADDY." She just stared blankly back at him. He tried with Micky too, but she did the same.

He fell to his knees and screamed, "MY BABIIIIIIEEEEEEES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He was breathing heavily and Brooke and Micky stared at him. They cautiously approached him and Micky said, "Um, we just said that to convince you… We're not really brainwashed. Please calm down."

Todd still had his arms raised in the air in despair, and he looked at Micky. He stood up slowly and left the room. Micky and Brooke looked at each other. Brooke suddenly remembered something and she started waving her arms back and forth.

"MICKY! WE'RE GONNA MISS JOHANNA!"

"Let's go to the pervy Judge's house!"

"Yay!"

* * *

><p>Micky and Brooke were walking down the street, feeling awkward and itchy. Mrs. Lovett had lent them some of her dresses so they didn't look like weird foreigners. But the problem was, she was bigger than the girls were. Especially in…certain areas.<p>

"Micky, I feel like a prostitute. This thing only covers about 2 centimeters of my boobs."

"Calm down, this is the style." They looked around and saw Anthony reading his book on the bench. All of a sudden, some random music started playing. It sounded like birds chirping. Micky smiled widely and skipped away from Brooke and down the street. Anthony looked up at her and smiled.

Brooke caught up with Micky and noticed Anthony watching them. She scowled and said, "Eyes are up here, dude." Anthony blushed and Brooke huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, then put them back down when she almost flashed the world.

Micky looked up at Johanna's window and said, "Well, looks like we're not the only ones dressed like harlots." She pointed at Johanna and Brooke sighed, nodding her head in agreement. Anthony looked up from Micky's chest as well, then started drooling at the sight he saw.

He jumped up and held out his arms. "I want to sing to her! They, I mean she, is so beautiful!" Micky rolled her eyes. Brooke finally caught on, then said, "Eeeeeew…Are you sure you aren't related to Turpin?"

Johanna started to sing, but Micky did as well.

_Green Finch and Linnet Bird  
><em>_Nightingale, Blackbird  
><em>_How is it you sing?  
><em>_How can you jubilate  
><em>_Sitting in cages  
><em>_Never taking wing?_

Johanna glanced down to see some older teenager singing with her. She scowled slightly, then noticed a young man standing next to them. She smiled and pushed up her, um…sisters and continued.

_Outside the sky waits  
><em>_Beckoning, beckoning  
><em>_Just beyond the bars_

Johanna smirked. There was no way this girl would be able to hit such a high note as the one she was about to sing.

_How can you remain  
><em>_Staring at the rain  
><em>_Maddened by the stars?_

Micky belted out the high note perfectly and Johanna gaped like a fish. Micky smiled and finished the song for her.

_How is it you sing  
><em>_Anything?  
><em>_How is it you sing?_

She twirled around in the street, not noticing the Judge and Beadle peering out from their peephole. They had one in every door. Brooke was chasing her around, trying to stop her while trying to keep her own dress on at the same time. Micky was holding the cloth covering her chest so she wouldn't flash any old people.

_My cage has many rooms,  
><em>_Damask and dark  
>Nothing there sings<br>__Not even my lark…  
><em>_  
>Larks never will you know<br>__When they're captive  
><em>_Teach me to be  
><em>_More adaptive_

Micky stopped and Brooke ran into her, falling on her butt and her skirt flying over her legs. "ARGGGH!" Anthony ogled at Brooke's pantaloons that Mrs. Lovett had insisted upon wearing. Anthony was a pervert. Who knew, right?

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!_

_Green Finch and Linnet Bird  
><em>_Nightingale, Blackbird  
><em>_Teach me how to sing  
><em>_If I cannot fly…  
><em>_Let me sing!_

Micky took a bow, but nobody noticed. Brooke finally righted herself and glared a Sweeney glare at Anthony. He cowered away from her. Instead, he gazed at Micky.

_I feel you, Michaela  
><em>_I feel you!_

_I was half-convinced I'd waken  
><em>_Satisfied enough to dream you  
><em>_Happily I was mistaken  
><em>_Michaela!_

Micky and Brooke looked at each other and shuddered. Anthony was…serenading Micky. How does one react to this?

_I'll steal you, Michaela  
><em>_I'll steal you!_

_Do they think that walls can hide you?  
><em>_Even now I'm at your window  
><em>_I am in the dark beside you  
>Buried sweetly in your chocolate hair!<em>

Brooke turned to Micky. "Your hair's made of chocolate? Why didn't you tell me?" She started nibbling on Micky's hair and she pushed her away. "You idiot, he just said my hair is brown."

Brooke thought on that. "Then why didn't he say something else, like dirt? Or poop?"

Micky yelled in Brooke's face, "BECAUSE IT DOESN'T RHYME!"

"But chocolate doesn't rhyme with anything else in the song." Brooke dropped the subject upon seeing the look on Micky's face.

_I feel you, Michaela  
><em>_And one day  
><em>_I'll steal you!  
><em>_Till I'm with you something, something, something…  
><em>_Sweetly buried in your chocolate hair!_

Brooke turned to Micky once more. "Wow, you managed to ruin my favorite song in the entire movie. How do you feel about yourself?"

Micky thought it over. "Surprisingly awesome."

* * *

><p>Brooke, you would suggest poop. Anthony's a perv, we all knew it. Stupid Mrs. Lovett's dresses and their incapability to cover boobs. Johanna should not wear those dresses. They make her look like a prostitute. She's only 15, geez!<p>

And Brooke, I only made the song better. That something, something, something bit? Yeah, I couldn't remember the lyrics. SORRY, GEEZ. DON'T EAT ME.

I need some reviews and ideas for this story! Please? If you do review, Mr. T will give you a big hug and kiss.

**Todd:** EEEEWW, MICKY!  
><strong>Micky:<strong> Pucker up, babe. *pulls Todd down into a tango dip*  
><strong>Todd:<strong> NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
><strong>Micky:<strong> *Looks up* Oh, you're still here. If you don't review, then Mr. T will pants you.  
><strong>Todd:<strong> WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, KID?  
><strong>Micky:<strong> I really don't know, okay?  
><strong>Becca:<strong> BOOH-WE-OOP, IMA FISH.  
><strong>Todd:<strong> Ooohkayyy…

~MickyinBoots


	11. Fish tacos

Hopefully I'm getting back into the swing of things. Meaning updating and writing and that sorta stuff. Sorry it's been so long! I really didn't mean for it to go that long. I've been working on so much other stuff and you guys don't even know. So hopefully updates will be more frequent.

**Thanks to my reviewers:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane:** Hmmm, not sure how to respond to that... Yeah, I think we all knew it...  
><strong>MahFriendsArShinee:<strong> I love your name. Not even kidding. But yeah, thanks for the compliment! Haha, that's kinda what I thought the lyrics were, but they just don't make sense! They're just...weird. Brooke is extremely awesome.

I'll get back to you all on those hugs and kisses from Sweeney. He's kind of hiding in my basement from all the fangirls.

Don't own him, but like I said, he's living in my basement.

* * *

><p>Micky and Brooke ran away from the pervy Judge's house since Anthony was still singing, even after being kicked out of the Judge's house. They hung around for a while, but when Anthony started singing a certain song, well…<p>

_Flashback…_

"Anthony, I really think you should stop now. I think someone just called the cops." Micky said.

"No, I'm pretty sure that was because you gave an old lady a heart attack by flashing her unintentionally." Brooke replied.

"Pfft, nah."

The door of the mansion opened and the Judge stood before them all. The girls self-consciously covered their boobs better. The Judge glanced at them hungrily and Brooke glared back at him. "You'd better watch it. We have Batman on speed-dial."

The Judge looked confused, then turned to Anthony. They went inside, though Micky and Brooke whipped around when the door slammed behind them. Micky leaned over and whispered to Brooke, "Get the Bat-signal ready." Brooke nodded.

The Judge led them through the mansion and pushed Anthony into a chair. The girls refused to sit, so the Beadle brought some tea. He grinned creepily at them and said, "Drink this, my pretties."

Micky rolled her eyes and said, "Geez, dude, you're not the Wicked Witch of the West!"

Brooke replied, "Well…"

The Beadle screamed in their faces, "DRINK IT!"

They drank their tea quickly while the Judge, um…stroked his books. Anthony was just sitting there, watching him in a daze. He had chugged his tea in one gulp, and Brooke and Micky were becoming suspicious. They had finished their drinks too, and now they glanced warily into their cups.

The Beadle noticed and sidled up to them. They backed away. "I put a little extra gin in their, just in case."

Brooke started screaming at him. "WHAT THE FRIKKERS IS WRONG WITH YOU? WE ARE UNDERAGE, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED! ARE YE DENSE IN THE HEAD? WHERE'S CAPTAIN SPARROW? I MUST HAVE A WORD WITH HIM ABOUT…about…"

Micky stared at Brooke. "About…?"

Brooke snapped out of it and yelled, "FISH TACOS!" She started zooming around the room like an airplane. "MARY, MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, HAD A LITTLE LAMB, HAD A LITTLE LAMB! MARY, MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, WHOSE FLEECE WAS AS WHITE AS THE SNOWINNORTHDAKOTA!"

Micky and the Beadle silently observed her inebriation. Micky said, "Yeah, definitely gin." She started to feel woozy, now. She giggled and fell over onto the Beadle, who smiled widely. She took a whiff of him, then pushed him down and held her nose like a 3 year old.

She collapsed on the couch and Beadle pounced on her, only to fall off of her, holding his places, if ya know what I mean... (A/N: And I think you do) Micky giggled and pointed in his face. "Learnt dat one frahm Batsman…"

The Beadle looked to the Judge, who was as confused as he was. "Maybe this wasn't the best idea."

The Judge glared at him. "Ya think? Wait…why did we even bring the girl in here?"

"Which one, my lord?"

"The one singing 'Don't Go Breakin' My Heart.' Oh, what's her name…?"

"Oh, I believe that is Anthony, my lord."

"Oh…awkward."

"Yeah…"

"Just get them out of my sight. I forgot what I was going to do with them, and it wouldn't be any fun anyway, considering they're all drunk. WHY DID YOU PUT GIN IN THE TEA?"

"My lord, I thought it would be funny…"

The Judge smacked the Beadle with his own cane. "WELL IT WAS! SO JUST GO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! GO ON!"

The Beadle looked really confused. So did the girls (including Anthony). The Beadle sighed and left.

The Judge kicked the girls out (once again, Anthony included). Micky and Brooke staggered a little whiled Anthony fell on his face. All of a sudden, Micky went straight from drunk to hangover mode. She held her pounding head. "AW CRAP THIS HURTS! WHY DO HANGOVERS EXIST?"

Brooke, however, was still drunk.

She laughed, put her arm around Micky's shoulders clumsily, and started singing:

_Where oh, where  
><em>_Were you tonight?  
><em>_Why did you leave me here all ALOOOOOONE?_

_I searched the world over  
><em>_And I thought I found true love  
><em>_But you met another and-  
><em>_*BLOWS VERY LOUD RASPBERRY IN MICKY'S FACE*  
><em>_-YOU WAS GOOOOOOONE!_

Micky growled at her friend. Brooke just smiled at her. Micky sighed and yelled at Brooke, "YOU'RE DRUNK, KID! WE HAVE TO GO HOME! OOOOOOWWWWCHEEYYYY MY HEAD!" She Bat-glared (A/N: FEAR THE BAT-GLARE.) at Brooke and Anthony and started hauling Brooke home. When Anthony started singing again, they high-tailed it outta there.

If you wish to be enlightened on the subject of the song, then you should know that Anthony is sexy and he knows it.

* * *

><p>Micky and Brooke tumbled into the pie shop and Todd ran over to them. "MY BABIEEES! ARE YOU OKAY? TELL DADDY WHERE IT HURTS."<p>

Micky pouted and pointed at her head. Brooke just giggled. Todd frowned. "Where were you? I looked all over, but couldn't find you!" He started sobbing and hugged Brooke and Micky tightly to his chest. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

Micky pushed him away. "We were wandering around the pervy Judge's house, and-"

Brooke interrupted. "We were wandering by the pervy Judge's house when we saw Anthony and he started singing like LALALALALAAAH…yeah, just like that, and we were wearing these freaky prostitute dresses, right, and so Anthony was staring at us like WOAAAAH and we saw this chick named Johanna and she was singing like LALALALALAAAH but then Micky started singing and she was way better and I started eating her hair cuz APPARENTLY it's made of CHOCOLATE. HOW WEIRD IS THAT, RIGHT? So the Judge kidnapped us into his house and gave us this tea that made me feel AWESOME, by the way, and the Judge forgot what he was gonna do with us so he kicked us out and I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND JACK SPARROW!"

Todd stared at her. Micky stared at her. Brooke hiccupped.

Then Todd's eyes turned into little fire balls and his fists clenched. "…that Judge is goin' DOWN."

He looked back at the girls and his anger left him (for now… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHACHK *choke* *cough*…). He pulled out a teddy bear out of nowhere and said, "Use this bear to tell Daddy where he touched you." The girls just stared at him. Brooke grabbed the teddy bear and started chewing on it.

Todd rolled his eyes and hugged them again. Mrs. Lovett walked into the room and she shrieked with glee. She tried to get in on the action.

As soon as she joined the circle, Todd Bat-glared at her, Brooke giggled and passed out, and Micky puked on her.

That's what you get for giving your kids prostitute dresses to wear to a pervy Judge's house.

* * *

><p>Come on, you know you love Batman…more of the Justice League, coming soon to theaters! Not really, they'll just be guest stars. I just have this thing for superheroes…especially Wally West…sigh…if you don't know whom that is, LOOKITUP, PEEPS! IT'S WHAT GOOGLE'S FOR! Ha, no really, he's Kid Flash, then later Flash (obvi…). *GASP* HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN YOUNG JUSTICE? IT'S COMING BACK ON MARCH 3RD! I'M SO EXCITED!<p>

…could you tell?

WHAT THE FRIKKERS! SPELL CHECK SAID IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "Mary, Mary had a little lambed…" I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY ARE YOU WET?

I love The Proposal. And Sandra Bullock. And Ryan Reynolds…as Brooke would say (and she has), "In The Proposal, he was a nekked, nekked boi." Don't ask. Oh, geez. Instead of 'nekked', Spell Check said it should be 'necked'. I'm just gonna stop now…

REVIEW! And you might just find a 'nekked, nekked' Ryan Reynolds in your closet… XD  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	12. WALLY FRIGGIN WEST

Well, after I looked over the last chapter, I learned a few things.  
>1) I love punctuation marks.<br>2) I love Batman.  
>3) I think Anthony is a girl.|<br>4) It was probably the funniest chapter yet.

So, I hope you guys think the same thing. IDK if I can outdo myself, though, so you'd better watch out…

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane:** It's weird, no one in my class seems to know what déjà vu means. It's really, really pathetic, considering I'm a freshman. Ha, I hate science SO much. WALLY FRIGGIN WEST. If I had seen you with that on your arm, I would've run over there and hugged the crap outta you.

P.S: I officially love gingers. Namely Roy Harper and Wally West. FTW.

* * *

><p>Sweeney was still babying Micky and Brooke. They were currently sitting in a booth in Mrs. Lovett's shop. Mrs. Lovett brought them a few pies, and before Brooke could scarf one down, he backhanded it off the table. Brooke sat there, staring at the empty spot on the table, and started wailing.<p>

Sweeney leapt over the table and sat on it while he cradled Brooke in his arms. He was singing a lullaby to her, and she was falling asleep.

Meanwhile, Micky was holding her head in her hands. "I'm surrounded by freaks."

All of a sudden, the bell above Sweeney's shop chimed. Everyone looked up, and Micky and Brooke smiled sadistically at each other.

They raced upstairs, Brooke reaching the door first. She stopped abruptly, letting Sweeney, Mrs. Lovett, and Micky crash into her in that order. Brooke was pondering something. "I've seen you somewhere before…"

Sweeney was by his razors in a second. He flipped one open and started stalking toward the man in the middle of the room. Mrs. Lovett was just standing there watching. She was in Micky's line of vision, but when she finally got out of the way so Micky could see what was going on, she gasped loudly.

Sweeney was leaning over the red-haired man, razor at his throat, when Micky screamed:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Everyone looked at her, but she didn't notice. She was staring at the ginger cowering from Sweeney. She stepped closer and her eyes widened more than they physically could (which is a contradictory statement in itself). Sweeney glanced at him and stood up straight. He pointed and asked, "You know this man?"

Micky didn't look at him, but instead helped the ginger up. He looked like he was confused and scared out of his wits, which was becoming a normal thing with Micky and Brooke around.

Micky looked at Brooke, who finally seemed to recognize the man. She gasped. The girls screamed at the top of their fangirl lungs:

"IT'S WALLY FRIGGIN WEST!"

The ginger just stared at the girls and gaped like a fish. Sweeney put down his razor and pouted. Mrs. Lovett was confused.

It was really quiet. They stood there for a few minutes without anyone saying anything. Brooke broke the silence, as per usual, and said, "Well, this is awkward. Let's go to the market."

Everyone but Wally agreed. "I'm not goin' anywhere with that maniacal barber! I'm staying right here!"

Micky used the puppy-dog face on him and he sighed. "Let's go to the market, then."

* * *

><p>They reached the market and the group looked around. Sweeney and Brooke weren't looking for anything particular, Mrs. Lovett was looking for Pirelli, Wally was trying to figure out were he was and how he got into his civilian clothes, and Micky was gazing up at Wally, completely love struck.<p>

They walked a little further and Sweeney saw the Beadle. Brooke and Micky eeped, and they hid behind Wally and Sweeney. Sweeney growled a little and Wally backed away a little as he started to stalk toward the Beadle, but Mrs. Lovett stopped him.

Sweeney pouted, but put his razor away again. Brooke patted his back comfortingly. They followed Mrs. Lovett through the maze of British people. Micky and Brooke waved to some of them, saying, "Allo, govna! Allo! Allo govna!" Wally even joined in, finally loosening up a little bit. Soon the girls and Wally were laughing so hard that people were whispering to each other.

And here Micky thought that everyone in London was ignorant of everyone else.

They finally made it to the stage just in time to see Toby start beating a drum. Random music started playing as well and Wally looked around. Micky leaned over and said, "Have you ever heard of the musical Sweeney Todd?"

He grimaced and replied, "The one where the barber goes crazy and starts killing people in his shop to get revenge on the judge who sent him to prison so he could rape his wife and steal his daughter and it ends with pretty much every major character dying?" Micky shushed him when people started staring at him. Sweeney glared at them.

"Yes, that Sweeney Todd."

"What about it?"

"You're kind of in it."

Wally gazed around, then it finally hit him. He screamed "HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!" and started weeping on Micky's shoulder. She patted his head and comfortingly said, "Don't worry. You probably ran so fast you traveled through time. All you need to do is go that fast again, and then you should be home." He smiled and started vibrating.

Micky teared up. "You're…you're not leaving now, are you?" He looked at her and stopped. He sighed and said, "No, I won't leave you girls with this maniac. I'll take you with me when I go back." The girls cheered and Sweeney rolled his eyes.

They turned their attention to Toby singing:

_Ladies and gentlemen  
><em>_May I have your attention please?  
><em>_Do you wake every morning  
><em>_In shame and despair  
><em>_To discover your pillow is covered with hair  
><em>_What ought not to be there?_

_Well, ladies and gentlemen  
><em>_From now on you can waken at ease  
><em>_You need never again  
><em>_Have a worry or care  
><em>_I will show you a miracle  
><em>_Marvelous, rare_

_Gentlemen, you are about to see something  
><em>_Arose from the dead…  
><em>_On the top of my head!_

Toby pulled off the hat and his wig fell off with it. He looked around and pointed at something. The crowd looked and he quickly put the wig back on. When the crowd turned back around again, they all ooh-ed and ah-ed. He posed like a supermodel and strutted around a little.

'_Twas Pirelli's miracle elixir  
><em>_That's what did the trick sir  
><em>_True, sir, true  
><em>_Was it quick sir?  
><em>_Did it in a tick sir  
><em>_Just like an elixir  
><em>_Ought to do_

He handed a few bottles to the crowd. One guy rubbed it on his head, then sniffed it. He promptly passed out. Nobody noticed. A bottle was handed to Sweeney and the group and he opened it cautiously.

Toby kept singing as they sniffed the open bottle. Brooke fainted on Mrs. Lovett. Sweeney and Micky began to sing while Wally and Mrs. Lovett fanned Brooke and tried to rouse her.

_What is this?  
><em>_What is this?  
><em>_Smells like p***  
><em>_Smells like- ew!  
><em>

_This is p***  
><em>_P*** with ink!_

Toby glared at them before he started singing faster.

_Ladies seem to love it-_

_Flies do too!_

Micky sang happily. Everyone laughed and Pirelli popped out of his tent dramatically.

_IIIIIIIIIIIII…  
><em>_Am Adolfo Pirelli  
><em>_The King of the Barbers  
><em>_The Barber of Kings…_

He kept singing but Micky didn't pay attention. She was giggling and looking at Wally. He looked at her as if she was crazy…which she probably was. She whispered to herself, "Hey ladies, check me out! I just like a helicopter! …I'm…sorta like a helicopter…"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms like he was frustrated. She patted his back. He smiled at her and she swooned again. He caught her in his arms and she held onto him. They stared at each other, then leaned in slowly, closing their eyes.

Sweeney caught a glimpse of them and pulled Micky from Wally's grasp and pushed him down like a five-year-old. Micky glared at Sweeney. "But Daaaaaaaad.." He glared right back at her and said, "NO."

He pulled her back to their spot in the crowd, but Micky turned around and winked at Wally. He blushed and smiled.

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

…I couldn't help myself, its WALLY FRIGGIN WEST!

To be honest, Brooke has no clue who Wally West even is. She's not big on superheroes like me. She loves Spiderman, though…GO WEB GO.

So, I'm really bored right now, but I just finished yelling at someone for flaming me (first flame and I didn't even understand it :/ IDK HOW THE HECK THAT HAPPENS, BUT OH WELL.), and I feel really accomplished right now. It was on my Puss in Boots story in case any of you wanted to check it out and try and tell me what the heck it means (or if you wanna yell at them. Trust me, I wouldn't mind). So the rest of this scene will be in the next chapter. I just thought this was long enough.

And BTW, I told you I wouldn't be able to outdo myself. This chapter was kinda crappy because I'm a freakish fangirl for WALLY FRIGGIN WEST and when I got that review it made me go a little overboard with it. I'M SO SORRY! BTW x2…that's a line from JLU. Like, my favorite line ever. I'M JUST LIKE A HELICOPTER!  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	13. Mhmhhmhmhmhmmhm?

So I had a super busy V-Day, and yet it was really boring. We had a four-hour concert and spaghetti supper at school to raise money for our band and choir trip to Minneapolis in the spring and I'm really tired right now. Joseph and Dylan were bugging me all night. Dylan kept touching everyone's butts and Joseph got his eye poked by his girlfriend. And in practice today he was stroking my leg with his foot. It was awkward.

Also, Brooke was chasing my dad and me in her truck. That reminds me, I have to study to get my driving permit. AUGH.

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**MahFrehndsArShinee:** This is gonna be super long… GO: Your welcome, stupid Beadle and Anthony, Batman=WIN, I 3 Ryan Reynolds, TOBUSCUS IS EPIC, ditto to all of the above, so am I, I believe that's tally-ho, yes, hopefully not, bye. *GASP*  
><strong>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane:<strong> Ha, don't worry, I read fanfics in school ALL THE FREAKIN TIME.  
><strong>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane x2:<strong> Pfft, nice. Sigh, and after I had already written an epic paragraph of yelling-ness… D'aw, thanks :D. I'm still kinda thinking of showing off my epic paragraph...maybe not…  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x2:<strong> MEAT PIE. I wasn't offended, I hope nobody else was. Your reviews are always so long and random :D geez, I love em. Hah, just Google him. It's not a big deal if you don't know who he is, cuz I'm a HUGE-HUGE-HUGE-HUGE-HUGE superhero fanatic. Seriously, my brain is filled with random superhero facts that nobody gives a crap about. *gigglesnort* I hope so… AS I'MNOTCRAZY.I'MINSANE STATED: Wally West is a smexy beastoid. HECK YEAH!  
><strong>P.S. to MahFrehndsArShinee:<strong> Thanks for reviewing my one-shot. Although I fail horribly. Leiterhosens are actually spelled lederhosen. GAH. Well, I can just edit it…BAD SPELLERS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE! Heck yeah…although I did go to the Spelling Bee 3 times…okay now I'm just rambling…

I need some Valentine's Reviews to cheer me up since I didn't have a boyfriend or any secret admirers or anything…MICKY IS DESTINED TO BE LONELEEEEEEEEEEY. Freakin heck, I hope not.

* * *

><p><em>And IIIIIIIIII...<br>__The so famous Pirelli a-wish-a to know-a  
><em>_Who has-a the nerve-a to saaaaaaay...  
><em>_My elixir is p***  
><em>_Who says this?_

"D'oh crap, you're busted," Micky stated the obvious to Sweeney. Wally hid a smirk behind his hand. Brooke giggled, but Sweeney stepped forward and raised his hand. "Ooh, ooh, me! It was me!"

He stepped up to the edge of the stage and noticed something…incredibly awkward. He fidgeted uncomfortably and the girls just giggled. Micky gained at least a little composure and stood next to Sweeney. "We think that this is an errant fraud concocted of pee-water and ink!" She glanced at Brooke and she smirked. Micky added, "Also…this man before you all…has an incredible BULGE in his pants. It's disgusting." She glanced down then back up. "It's a blatant health code violation in itself."

Pirelli just looked violated period.

Sweeney paused and shook his head. "Yes, well, I will challenge you…TO A DUEL!" He whipped out his razor and glared conspiratorially at Pirelli.

Skipping all pleasantries, Sweeney jumped onstage like Spiderman, leaving the crowd to gasp in awe and Brooke to start singing:

_SPIDERPIG, SPIDERPIG  
><em>_DOES WHATEVER A SPIDERPIG DOES_

Wally laughed. Mrs. Lovett gave him a random noogie. He squealed like a Spiderpig and she let him go. Micky and Brooke stood on the stage, too, just for the heckuvit. Toby sidled up next to Micky and 'subtly' put his arm around her waist, since he couldn't reach anything else. Micky smiled and hugged him back.

After Toby's hand traveled a little further down, though, she karate chopped his neck. He fell to the stage, gagging until he could breathe again. Wally pointed and laughed. Micky Bat-glared at him and it sent him cowering behind Mrs. Lovett.

Micky helped Toby back onto the stage and patted his back. "Listen, I already have a boyfriend, Toby." Toby and Brooke both scrunched up their noses and said simultaneously:

"How do you know my name?"

"You don't have a boyfriend."

Micky didn't answer either one of them because Pirelli and Sweeney had started shaving. The Beadle was standing right beside them. The girls' eyes widened and they quickly danced away to the rhythm of Pirelli's song. They were about to climb off the stage when Pirelli let out his girlish shriek of a high note. They started, falling off the stage in a pile of limbs and hair and dresses that were not covering very much AT ALL.

Wally and Mrs. Lovett helped them up. Wally (otherwise known as the sweetest person in the universe EVER) blushed and looked away and the girls flashed their…well, girls. Or pillows. Or airbags. Whichever you prefer.

Brooke happened to notice as she was stuffing her boobs back into her dress and smirked. "D'awww…" Micky looked at her, face completely flushed from embarrassment. Brooke continued, "You two make such a cute couple! Seriously!"

Once they were decent again, Micky shoved Brooke into Mrs. Lovett, who squeezed the living crap out of her. Brooke managed to choke out, "Touché…" Micky smiled and stood next to Wally once more. He smiled down at her and she pretended not to notice, the once flirtatious Micky turning back into awkward, non-flirty/sexy Micky.

"And the winner…is Todd!"

Micky and Brooke and Wally and Mrs. Lovett and Toby all cheered loudly for Sweeney. Brooke put her fingers in her mouth and tried to whistle. Wally pumped his arm in a circle like a frat-boy. Micky laughed and clapped, jumping up and down like London Tipton. Mrs. Lovett, um…well, let's just say it involved clothes disappearing from her person and swinging arms.

Pirelli glared at them all and smacked Toby upside the face. He twirled in slow-mo like a ballerina (or Squidward in that one episode…) and fell behind the curtains dramatically.

Pirelli's all like, "Aw man, you beat me. I am so ashamed, aw man…here's your money or penny or dollah or whatevs…" Sweeney's all like, "Pfft, yeah, whatevs. You're just a failure at life, dude. Give me mah freakin' dollah!" Pirelli handed it over and Sweeney's all like, "Wow, this is, like, not very much at all, but okay…"

He stepped down from the stage and Mrs. Lovett hugged him. He choked for a second, then managed to push her back to say, "Mrs. Lovett…kindly put your dress back on…people are watching…"

She sullenly walked away and shamefully put her dress back on. Wally shook his head. Micky sneaked a peek at him. Micky got an idea and started freaking out, waving her arms and dancing around like a caveman. "BROOKE!"

Brooke started imitating her and replied, "WHAT?"

They danced like that for a while, then just stopped. Micky whispered in her ear. Brooke's like, "OHMAHGAWSH," and Micky's like, "AHKNOW, RAWHT," and they started doing their caveman dance again.

Wally just laughed. When people walked by to look at them, he glared and Bat-whispered menacingly, "Nothing to see here. Move along, move along…"

Sweeney and the gang started walking back to Fleet Street, when a random dude stopped him. "I say, sir, do you by any chance have a fine establishment of your own, mhmhhmhmhmhmmhm?"

(A/N: Okay, hold the phone. Time out. Pause. I seriously almost died during that last sentence. That 'mhmhhmhhmhm' thing was *snort* supposed to be like one of those stupid British laughs. I think you know the kind I'm talking about. I know, I know, I'm pathetic…BUT YOU LOVETH ME ANYWAYS. It's like…a gay British laugh. That's the only way I can describe it. Okay, I'm gonna stop now…*snort* I'm such an idiot…)

Wally, Micky, Brooke, and Sweeney stared at the dude like, "WAUTTEHCRAHP."

Mrs. Lovett was the only one who could respond with, "Of course, Mr. Gay British Man, right above my Meat Pie Emporium on Fleet Street."

Mr. Gay British Man laughs again. "Mhmhhmhmm, are you two lovers, then? Mhmhmhmhhhmhhfajfoja?"

Sweeney starts freaking out. He even starts doing his own little caveman dance. "NAO. NAO WE ARE NOT LOVERS. WHATTEHCRAHP IS WRONG WIF YOU."

But Mrs. Lovett laughs like Mr. Gay British Man and replies, "Mhaofaojfoahodfj, of course we are. Do you not see how perfect we are for each other?" She hugs Sweeney and he looked like he wanted to die right there. It was pretty awkward for everyone else too.

Finally Brooke took charge, splitting the two apart, even though Mrs. Lovett had a vice grip on Sweeney. She glared at Mrs. Lovett and her nostrils flared. "YOU HAVE MADE THE HULK ANGRY."

Micky leaned over to a frightened Wally and said, "You don't want to make the Hulk angry…" He looked at her and said, "Hmm, I wonder why."

"JUST FREAKING LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE IS OUR DADDY, BUT YOU ARE NOT MY MAMAAAAA! YOU'RE LIKE THE WEIRD AWKWARD COUSIN WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR. BESIDES, YOUR MEAT PIES ALMOST DISINTEGRATED MY INSIDES. AND YOU GAVE ME ALCOHOL. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A FREAKING LOVING MOTHER? HUH? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Everyone was so quiet, you could hear a cricket chirping. Micky brushed it off her shoulder. Mr. Gay British Man slowly backed away.

Wally looked from Micky to Brooke to Mrs. Lovett to Sweeney and back to Micky again. She's so pretty…

Mrs. Lovett was aghast for a moment, then held out a meat pie from behind her back. "Want a meat pie, love?"

Brooke changed from ANGRY HULK to HUNGRY BROOKE (A/N: OHEMGEE THAT RHYMES.) in an instant. She swallowed the hard meat pie whole. "Mmm, meat pie!"

Micky shook her head and continued walking back to Fleet Street when Brooke started gagging. "You're such an idiot."

* * *

><p>I will be honest with you all…though I claim to be an excellent speller…I HAVE NO IDEA IN HECK HOW TO SPELL NOOGIE! Stupid spellcheck doesn't help either…SPELLCHECK YOU ARE USELESS. And it ALSO claims that there is a HYPHEN in between SPELL and CHECK. I hate you so much…<p>

Pfft, I've never flirted once in my life. Like I said, NO ONE CARES ABOUT MICKY. Brooke and Becca have though. Becca is a living flirting machine. And Brooke is so cute when she flirts…Ha, Micky no sexy, either…

OOH, OOH, OOOOOOOOOOOH! RANDOM SOMETHING: I am in the process of making my own website! Weehoo! So I wanna know what you guys would like to know about me or pictures of something or anything else random that you would like to see on it. Just saying…AND I WOULDN'T MIND SOME IDEAS FOR THIS STORY EITHER. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you…stupid caps lock…But seriously, just some funny things you'd like to see me, Brooke, Wally, Sweeney, Mrs. Lovett or anyone else do. I can't think of anything funny for Pirelli's death scene, so please send me your BEST IDEAS. Pleases and thank yous…

ALSO. ALSO. ALSO. ALSO.  
>…ALSO. I probably won't update until I get at least 20 reviews. I may have mercy on you, however…but I still want reviews! They are like (SPOILER ALERT) ginger-snaps to mah tummy…hah, a little sneak peek at that little thing that made Micky do the caveman dance.<p>

PS: I AM BATMAN. Crazy day in Algebra, let me tell you…  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	14. Sexy mashed potatoes

OHMAHGAWSH. LAST CHAPTER WAS EHPIIIIC. Ha, spellcheck ignores the words that are all caps. AND I REFUSE TO PUT A HYPHEN. GR.  
>So right now (though you probably don't really care O.o) I am so obsessing over Jason Todd. OMG he's hot. Then again, so is Wally…don't worry guys, I know I can get re-obsessed about Wally. Just let this one run its course. It's filled with SO MUCH ANGST I LOVE IT. I seriously do. I also love Dick Grayson. Ha, once I saw a picture on DeviantArt of Dick and Wally posing as swimsuit models and Wally was like, vibrating or something cuz he couldn't stay still (nah, he just saw me in my Some Days You Can't Get Away lederhosen and rainbow bra combo XD), and Dick was pretty much sticking out his butt. Then in the description the artist said that Dick's butt gets more publicity than his face. I wasn't aware…but now I am and it's FREAKING TRUE!<br>Sorry, I'm rambling again.

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**MidnightChiller13:** Pfft, that's something I would do.  
><strong>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane:<strong> I really wish I had come up with that, but alas, 'tis not true...STUPID BRIT-SPEAK. I got it from a Sweeney Todd parody. I should put the link for my playlist on my profile...  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee:<strong> Tobuscus is the best thing ever. YES. TOBY SHALL MAKE A GUEST APPEARANCE. Well, your poor brother. PFFT HA I TOLD BROOKE THAT TODAY. If you don't mind me rambling aimlessly I'll tell you...Kittleson (band teacher) makes her play the tuba, though she really plays the baritone, and she was opening the case today and she's whining, "This is so big and useless" or something to that extent, and I start giggling. She's like, what's going on, and I'm like, "That's what she said." She shook her head and laughed. And actually, Brooke is big and scary, according to one of our classmates...I LOVE WALLY FRIGGIN WEST LIKE I LOVE DOUGHNUTS. Crap, I just remembered that I was gonna get a doughnut from Brooke after lunch...but good idea. I shall asketh him...OOH WE FINISHED ROMEO AND JULIET TODAY IN SCHOOL. Wait, actually that was yesterday. We took a test on it today. I really need to stop. OOOH NOW WE'RE WATCHING GNOMEO AND JULIET!  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x2:<strong> HAAAAA I'M ROTFL SOOOO HARD! TALLYWHACKER!

Here's the link to my Sweeney Todd parody playlist! You'll understand a lot of my inspiration...  
>http: .com /playlist?list=PL31DC1A28F431C206&feature=mh_lolz

And…I'm gonna post a hilarious picture on my profile for the heckuvit. I'll try and find the one I was talking about, but I found a WAY funnier one that I hadn't seen for a while. It's a Batboys draw-off, and it's epic. Ha, 'Well, not my own mother…' OH AND ANOTHER ONE ABOUT SUPERMAN. Seriously, this one is like the best picture ever.  
>Don't ask, I'm crazy. Just lookatem. They're epic, believe me.<p>

* * *

><p><em>IMMA GOOFY GOOBER ROCK!<em>

"Brooke, shut up, you're scaring the neighbors." Pause. "Actually, keep it up. It's kinda funny watching everyone flee for their lives."

"Don't you dare, Brooke."

While Sweeney, Micky and Brooke continued arguing, Mrs. Lovett was in the kitchen baking uneatable pies and Wally was staring out the window. He glanced at Micky, who was currently having a girlish slap-fest with Sweeney over something. He sighed hopelessly and resumed staring out the window.

"Sommen wrong, love?"

Wally fell out of the booth. "What the FRIKKERS is wrong with you? You don't just sneak up randomly behind people and scare the living crap outta them!"

Mrs. Lovett paused. "Well, maybe you don't, but I do. You should try it sometime, it's actually very satisfying to see your victims jump outta their pants."

Wally thought about this and looked around for a suitable victim. Brooke was still singing, Sweeney was brooding, but Micky…she was humming to herself and smiling smugly at Sweeney. She had obviously won whatever fight they had been having, and now she was gloating about it.

Perfect.

She wouldn't see anything coming. Wally smirked deviously.

He walked out of the shop and Micky looked up. She looked distressed. "Where's Wally going?"

Mrs. Lovett offered, "I think he went to go get some gin to ease Mr. Todd's nerves." Micky frowned. "He knows the streets of London are scary! He shouldn't be out there alone!" She stood up angrily. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?"

Mrs. Lovett sat Micky down in her chair again and rushed off to find some alcoholic beverage to supposedly calm her down. Before she could come back, however, she saw Wally sneaking behind Micky. He must've come back through the back door.

What Mrs. Lovett wasn't expecting was to see Wally move at the speed of light.

She stood there for a minute, trying to process what had just happened. Finally she just keeled over. Nobody really noticed, though, since they were all preoccupied.

Meanwhile, Wally was raising his arms to scare Micky, when she turned around. She immediately freaked out. She screamed loudly and in a very high pitch, which made Wally cover his ears and close his eyes. She threw her hands out in a defensive gesture, and ended up smacking Wally in the face. He fell into a booth and slid to the floor. Micky lost her balance and landed on top of him, creating a very awkward situation.

Brooke and Sweeney stopped fighting long enough to stare at the two lying on each other, tangling in arms and legs. Brooke laughed, but Sweeney narrowed his eyes. He started stomping toward Wally, when Brooke stepped in front of him. She pouted and clasped her hands in front of her, creating the picture of innocence. "C'mon...let the kids have a little fun."

Sweeney pointed two of his fingers at Wally, then pointed them to his eyes. Micky whispered, "He's watching you."

Wally and Micky untangled themselves and stood up awkwardly. Micky looked away, blushing. Wally rubbed his neck and chuckled nervously. Wally opened his mouth to say something when Micky walked away suddenly with a speed that he envied.

She grabbed Brooke on her way to the window and pressed their noses up against the glass. Brooke was halway smooshed so her face was distorted and she couldn't talk. Micky pointed at something and bounced up and down excitedly. Everyone came walking over to peer out and they all gasped.

"It's Signor Pirelli!"

"I'll get my razor."

Sweeney walked upstairs just as the door jingled. Signor Pirelli walked in FLAMBOYANTLY (A/N: Sorry, felt like putting emphasis on the word...) and Toby trailed in behind him. Brooke and Micky squealed and rushed up to Toby and hugged him, cuz he's just so darn cute! Toby grinned stupidly and Pirelli got a good look at the girls' butts as they bent over to embrace the kid.

Wally growled and Pirelli looked away, whistling.

Micky stood up again and asked, "You wanna see Mr. Todd, right?" Pirelli smiled and nodded, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her. She looked down and realized her airbags were almost being flashed. "STUPID PROSTITUTE DRESS!"

Wally narrowed his eyes at Pirelli and stood in his line of vision, crossing his arms and pouting slightly. "Mr. Todd...?"

Pirelli, as if broken from a trance, jumped and looked around. "What, yes, oh...yes, Mr. Todd." He skipped up the steps (A/N: Which is actually a very awkward process, btw) and Wally looked at Micky again. He rubbed his neck and laughed nervously. Again. "So are, ah...are you okay?" Micky nodded enthusiastically and charged up the stairs as quietly as possible. Brooke was about to follow her but she was stopped by Wally.

"You're not gonna leave me down here with them, are you?"

Brooke looked around the room and found Mrs. Lovett passed out over the counter with her butt sticking out and Toby raiding the cupboards for gin. He finally found some and he smiled creepily. He cradled it and said, "My precious...my precious..."

"No." Wally sighed in relief.

* * *

><p>Micky opened the back door to Sweeney's shop carefully and quietly and snuck into the room. She hid in the chest, closing it enough so she wouldn't be discovered but open enough to see through. Sweeney and Pirelli were talking.<p>

"Mr. Benjamin Barker."

Micky gasped despite herself. Sweeney gawked and said, "OHMAIGAW HOW DID YOU KNAO." They talked for a little longer, then Pirelli threatened him with taking half of his earnings. Sweeney holds up a finger and says, "OH NO YOU DI'N'T."

All of a sudden, Micky' cell phone starts ringing.

_I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK_

"D'oh CRAP!" She scrambled to silence the ringer, but it only got louder as she wiggled it out of her pocket. The inappropriate part came up and she dropped her phone. It clattered, but continued with:

_DIRTY BABE  
><em>_YOU SEE THESE SHACKLES BABY  
><em>_I'M YOUR SLAVE  
><em>_I'LL LET YOU WHIP ME IF I MISBEHAVE  
><em>_IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE MAKES ME FEEL THIS WAY_

She peered through the crack at the two men and almost died at their confused expressions.

"What was that?" Her phone finally shut up and she sat silently while Sweeney figured out she was in the room. He hurriedly grabbed the teapot and started hitting Pirelli's head with it. Micky's phone started ringing again in the midst of it. This time it was a different song.

_I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT  
><em>_I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT_

It kept playing throughout Pirelli's bashing and Micky prayed for it to end. She didn't notice as Sweeney started to drag him toward the chest. He lifted the lid and the music got infinitely louder.

_NUGGET, BISCUIT  
><em>_NUGGET IN A BISCUIT  
><em>_NUGGET, BISCUIT  
><em>_NUGGET IN A BISCUIT!_

_DIP IT ALL IN MASHED POTATOES!_

Micky had the sudden urge to face-palm. She didn't have time, however, since Sweeney noticed she was in there. He stared down at her in surprise, but everyone looked at the door when they heard Toby coming up the stairs. Sweeney shoved Pirelli in the chest before the boy could see it and he closed it.

Micky was pushed down into an awkward position and was very uncomfortable. There was something really heavy on top of her, too. She felt something warm trickling down her face and slapped a hand over her face to silence the scream.

She...was underneath...a dying, bleeding Pirelli. In a trunk (A/N: THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REMEMBER THAT FOR MONTHS NOW!).

She kicked her feet and had a mini hissy fit when she heard Toby leave. The trunk opened again, and Micky pushed upward, trying to get out.

Sweeney had other plans.

Instead of letting her out before he killed Pirelli, in his blood-lust he completely forgot she was underneath him. He sliced open his neck, blood spraying everywhere. Across the floor, onto his shirt...into the trunk. Micky closed her eyes and wished for a paper bag.

Pirelli was finally dead, and the trunk was closed again. Sweeney walked downstairs, feeling like he was forgetting something.

* * *

><p>Brooke and Wally looked up when they saw Sweeney sauntering down the stairs. Mrs. Lovett had finally woken up, and was fanning herself. Brooke pouted and said, "I wanted to see him die. That teapot thing always cracks me up."<p>

Wally stared at her in awe.

Mrs. Lovett shot up and her eyes were wide. "You didn't, Mr. T!"

He smirked and said, "Aw yeah I did."

Brooke looked around and asked, "Where's Micky?"

A scream echoed from upstairs. Everyone looked up as Micky came tumbling down the stairs of a flurry of hair and blood. She kept screaming for all she was worth while the group simply stared at her, taking her image in.

Mrs. Lovett fainted again. Sweeney blushed and said, "Oops." Wally gawked. Brooke walked up and kneeled beside her. Micky looked at her wildly and pointed to the blood covering her face.

"It was...he was...I...sexy mashed potatoes...and...AWMAIGAW IT'S ALL OVER ME GET IT AWWWWFFFFF!" Brooke shushed her, and glared at Sweeney. She mouthed 'I blame you', and took the wet cloth Wally was currently holding out to her. He kneeled next to her and smoothed her sticky hair down while Brooke cleaned all the drying blood off of her. When the cloth was soaked, she held it out and threw it to Sweeney. He glared at her and she glared right back. She yelled, "Your mess, you clean it up."

Micky shuddered and turned over. Brooke yelled, "CLEAR!" Everyone jumped back and Micky puked all over the floor. Wally was already walking up to her again, but Brooke held her hand out. "Wait for iiiiiiiiit..."

Micky puked again and collapsed on a step. Brooke nodded. "She's all good."

Micky looked around. "Hey, where's Toby?"

Wally answered, "Getting more gin."

"Ah."

She looked at Wally and squinted. She tugged on Brooke's sweatshirt and whispered something. She whispered back and Micky glared at nothing. It was quiet for a second, and Brooke got a weird look on her face. Micky realized what was about to go down and she was struggling to cover Brooke's mouth before she said anything.

"So Wally. It's Valentine's Day." Wally looked up at her surprised and thought. "Yeah...yeah, I guess it is." Brooke's grin was still there. "Do you have a Valentine...?"

He looked between the two girls and answered slowly, "Noooooo..."

Brooke blurted out loudly, "You and Micky totally make the cutest couple, like evar!" Wally froze and Micky closed her eyes. Her lips formed a tight line of frustration. Wally started gaping like a fish.

All of a sudden, lyrics started up again.

_LET ME SEE YOU STRIP  
><em>_YOU CAN GET A TIP  
><em>_CUZ I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE_

Micky finally face-palmed.

* * *

><p>D'aw, Brooke...you make my life miserable :( Hmm, I wonder who was messing with my phone...<br>So, there was kind of a song when Pirelli was getting killed...geez Brooke. Moocher.  
>Pfft, ROTFL, don't even ask about the songs...I was introduced to the last one by a pic on DeviantArt. Nightwing was stripping. Aw, geez there's something wrong with me.<br>Oh, and what day would you like me to update this on? I wanna make it a weekly thing like a TV show, so you can always look forward to it instead of not knowing when the next chapter will be. So lemme know. Also...WEBSITE IS UP! IT'S AT .COM. 'Cept no capitals...another also:

_LEMME SEE YOU STRIP  
><em>_YOU CAN GET A TIP  
><em>_CUZ I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE_

More random songs in the next chapter.  
>PS: I love you forever if you've heard Nugget in a Biscuit. If not, look it up. It's by TOBUSCUS!<br>~MickyinBoots


	15. U and I

You guys are so freaking lucky. Two chapters in one weekend.

**Thanks as always to:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane:** HA sorry I got you in trouble…oh, Toby…well, that's weird cuz like NO ONE in my class knows about him but like three people.  
><strong>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane x2:<strong> Haha, derpin…all those things ARE pretty dang awesome…  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee:<strong> MMM yum, yum gimme it! I just got an idea to fit Toby in…you are the reason I am updating again this weekend. IT'S YOUR ENTIRE FAULT. JK, JK…tallywhacker.

This is really random, but I'm watching Spongebob right now. And I totally forgot what comes next in the movie cuz I haven't seen it in a while…so this is just gonna be filler. Sorry. But at least it's a new chappie!

I don't own ANYFING but the crazy, insane idea for this story. OH AND I ARE GETTING BATMAN UNDERPANTS FROM HOT TOPIC! I'M SO EXCITED. *ahem*

* * *

><p>Micky left the group before Wally could start asking weird questions. She checked her phone to see who had called her. Let's see…<p>

The first one had been Becca. The second had been Dad. The third had been Brooke.

"AUUGH BROOKE STOP MESSING WITH MY PHONE! _FRIKKERS!_"

She could hear Brooke laughing in the other room. Micky tossed a glare over her shoulder only to find Wally standing right there. She turned back around, blushing, then kept messing with her phone. She checked the caller ringtones and growled. Then her phone started playing random music.

_SAFETY TORCH  
><em>_SAFETY TORCH_

Micky pushed a button and it stopped. Wally looked at her strangely. Micky stomped back into the kitchen and waved the misbehaving device in her friend's face. "What did you freaking do to my phone?"

Brooke shrugged.

Wally grabbed it and began looking it over. It immediately started playing:

_With a taste of your lips  
><em>_I'm on a ride  
><em>_You're toxic  
><em>_I'm slipping under_

Wally blushed and threw it on the ground. Micky muttered, "Sorry."

All of a sudden, the door clanged open. Everyone looked up, but all they could see was a shadow. Mrs. Lovett came in the room and smiles. "Oh, Toby love, where 'ave you been? Did you bring the gin?" The shadow didn't answer, but started humming a song. Brooke and Micky strained to listen. Micky's eyes widened, but Brooke didn't register.

"No…freaking…way…OHMAIBOB!"

Wally looked at Brooke and she shrugged again. "Who is it?" Micky didn't answer. The person stepped into the light and Micky squealed. Mrs. Lovett frowned. "That's not Toby."

Micky stared at the guy and said, "Oh yes it is." They both burst into random song.

_NUGGET BISCUIT  
><em>_NUGGET IN A BISCUIT_

Brooke finally got it and she shook her head. "Not this guy…"

"It's Tobuscus!"

"_Crap_."

* * *

><p>Tobuscus and Micky were still singing and Wally was starting to get annoyed. Actually, he had gotten annoyed a LONG time ago. He was so eager to get away from the two that he was hanging out with Brooke until the next scene of the movie came around.<p>

Seriously, _Brooke_.

The moment he had taken the seat next to her, she had gotten this weird look on her face. It still hadn't disappeared, and he was getting really freaked out. Was there ever a moment that she wasn't plotting something?

"You wanna know a secret?"

Wally glanced at her. Humoring her could be a dangerous thing to do, but what the heck? He was bored out of his mind anyway. He sighed. "Sure, why not?"

Brooke leaned in really close and checked to make sure no one was spying on them. He rolled his eyes but listened closely. Brooke whispered slowly, "You wanna get Micky to like you, right?"

Wally's eyes widened and he blushed, but didn't say anything. Brooke smirked. "Yeah, you do. So you want my advice?" Wally replied, "Not really, but do I have a choice?"

"Nope."

She checked again and whispered, "You heard those songs playing on her phone, right? Well, they were kinda dirty, weren't they?"

Wally blushed.

"So why would Micky put those songs on her phone if she didn't like it dirty?" Wally slowly saw the logic in Brooke's advice, and he smiled widely. "You get it now right?" He nodded. Brooke said, "Now, let me tell you what to do…"

* * *

><p>Micky sighed and scuffed her foot in some flour on the ground. A cockroach came scurrying out of it.<p>

What could she do so she wouldn't be lonely on Valentine's Day? She'd never had a boyfriend before. She never really flirted. She had only flirted with Wally because she thought she didn't have a chance with him. When he started showing…_affections_ back, well geez, Micky had no experience with this kind of stuff. That was Becca's job.

Wally came into the kitchen just then, and Sweeney glared at him. He veered away from the scary man with the razor and headed towards her. Micky pretended to be busy playing with her phone, but it started to play:

_It's gonna take a lot to drag me  
><em>_Away from you  
><em>_There's nothin' that a hundred men  
><em>_Or more could ever do_

She hit it against the counter and it stopped. Tobuscus groaned. "I'm boooored!" Micky glared and snapped, "Shut up, Toby." Toby groaned again and whined, "Where is Gay-buscus?"

"Toby, its Gabe-uscus."

"Yeah, Gay-buscus."

"Gabe-uscus."

"Gay-buscus."

Micky was tired of him and screamed in his face, "THERE IS A FREAKING PAUSE!" She stormed out of the shop and into the parlor. Everyone in the shop turned and looked at her. Wally followed her and smirked, putting his plan into action.

He crept up behind her and she glared at him out of the corner of her eye. He said lowly, "Is your name Micky? Cuz you are soooo fine." Micky's eyes widened. He walked over to the fire and poked it a little bit. He could feel her eyes watching him and he turned back to her. "Do you work for UPS? Cuz I totally just saw you looking at my package."

Micky's eyes were about to roll out of her head. Time to take it up a notch.

"Hey, what time do you have to be back in Heaven?"

Micky covered her face with her hands and shook her head slowly. Wally just kept laying it on.

"When God made you, he was showing off."

"I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true."

"Do you have an eraser? Cuz I just can't get you out of my mind."

Here come the big guns. She was gonna love this.

"If I had created the periodic table, I would've moved uranium and iodine so that U and I could be together."

Micky burst into hysterical laughter at that one. She actually fell off the couch. Wally was confused. Why was she laughing? That one was a killer!

"Seriously, a…*gasp*…a freaking _periodic table_ pickup line? *snicker* That is the…the funniest thing I have ever heard!" She could barely control herself enough to say the sentence, then she collapsed again. Wally grimaced.

_Brooke._

* * *

><p>Wally was flailing his arms angrily at Brooke while he was yelling at her. She simply gazed at him, unfazed.<p>

"-and she just started laughing! Laughing! At my best pickup line!"

Brooke shook her head despairingly. "If that was your best one, you're absolutely screwed." Wally glared. "Besides, I told you she liked things _dirty_. Those lines were just…_cheesy_. You gotta get it together if you wanna impress her."

Wally sighed and sat in front of her. "Then tell me what to do." Brooke shook her finger at him. "Ah, ah, ah…what did I tell you to call me?"

Wally make a noise in frustration. "Teach me, oh Master of the Force."

"Come closer, young Jedi…"

* * *

><p>Yes. A periodic table pickup line. You know it. This is gonna make things fun.<p>

I also did this chapter because I have to tell you guys that I'm going on a hiatus. My works lately have been kinda crappy, and I need to take a break.

I'll make you guys a deal though. If I can get 5 reviews on this chapter, I'll give you guys a present. I'll upload the next chapter during my hiatus. So if you know anybody who reads fanfictions, tell 'em to R&R!

See you in a month! (maybe sooner. I need a vacation...)  
>~MickyinBoots.<p> 


	16. CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR

I wrote this during my failed hiatus (a week and a half? Really Micky?) and you guys are so dang lucky that you get something right after it. And also, I found this super cool font that I'm gonna write in forever. Okay, it's really not that cool, but I LIKE IT OKAY?

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane: **That appears to be true. Solid. YEAUUUUUH. That reminds me, I was gonna watch the Regular Show...  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee: <strong>Yes. Yes you are. PFFFT ROTFL WALLY IS SO RANDOM. Yeah, I really don't know where I got that. Srsly. Ha, yesh I have. Uhm, good to know.  
><strong>Anonymous:<strong> It's always fun to scare your friends. I would know…thank you! It's nice to know some people actually find me funny.  
><strong>Anonymous:<strong> I love making people fall off of stuff! It's quite humorous for me.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever:<strong> OMG I WAS UP THAT LATE ON THAT NIGHT TOO!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x2:<strong> I wish I had a 3DS...Micky can has a Nook, though!  
><strong>JohnnyDepp4life:<strong> Hmm...wasn't aiming for cute, but okay. Chapter 13 was probably the best chapter so far, so yeah...

So, I was asked who Bon Bon was, and I just shook my head. Not at the fact that they don't know him (yes, him), cuz really…you shouldn't. But just Google Johnny Depp Bon Bon and you shall see. I am in no way responsible for any momentary blindness.

And this past week, all of a sudden I realized that I have seven new reviews! I'm like, scratching my head here. Why is this so popular all of a sudden?

P.S. Just thought I should let you guys know that this chapter is dedicated to Wierd Al Yankovic. Don't ask.

I do not own, you do not sue. WE ARE THESPIANS. THANK YOU!

* * *

><p>"Sigh..." Brooke shook her head when Wally left to find Micky again. "This kid is <em>hopeless<em>. Maybe he'll actually get it right this time." Brooke's phone started playing:

_It's hard work and sacrifice  
><em>_Livin' in an Amish paradise_

Brooke sang along until the music stopped and looked at the text.

~-~  
><em><strong>To: Teh Brookay<br>****From: Spazzmatic**_

**Hheeeeyyy...whacha doin?**

**-Meeeer  
>~-~<strong>

Brooke rolled her eyes and replied:

~-~  
><em><strong>To: Spazzmatic<br>**__**From: Teh Brookay**_

**Whaddaya want, becca? im busy rather**

**-MahFrehdsArCrazee  
>~-~<strong>

A few seconds later her phone rang again.

~-~  
><em><strong>To: Teh Brookay<br>**__**From: Spazzmatic**_

**Nuffin...ha, reminds me of muffin. anywho, i was wondrin where u were. u and micky werent skool yestarday.**

**-Meeeer**

_**To: Spazzmatic  
><strong>__**From: Teh Brookay**_

**We r somewhere  
><strong>**ps u spelled yesterday wrong**

**-MahFrehndsArCrazee  
>~-~<strong>

Brooke smirked and could practically feel Becca rolling her eyes and huffing angrily. The rest of the conversation consisted of Becca freaking out and Brooke teasing her. It ended when Becca called her suddenly.

"Brooke, _where are you and Micky?_"

"Well, wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes. Yes I would."

"Well, too bad."

"GOSH-_DARNIT_ BROOKE! I'M JUST SO..._ANGRY! _AAAAGAUUGH!" She hung up and Brooke laughed when she got another text almost immediately after saying:

~-~  
><em><strong>To: Teh Brookay<br>**__**From: Spazzmatic**_

**btw, i find ur signature offensive**

**-Meeeer**

_**To: Spazzmatic  
><strong>__**From: Teh Brookay**_

**btw, ur contact name is still Spazzmatic**

**-MahFrehndArCrazee  
>~-~<strong>

Becca didn't answer back. Brooke yelled "WIN!" right when Mr. Todd was walking by and he stared.

Wally heard someone yell "WIN!" at the top of his or her lungs, but he paid no heed (A/N: Yes, I did just use that phrase. Get over it). He was on a mission. On the last one he had crashed and burned, but he planned to WIN this time.

He found Micky in the parlor, having a heated discussion with Toby. Or Tobuscus. Whatever the heck his name was.

"-not sure how we got here, but we need to find a way to get back. Oh, hey Wally. So as I was saying, I think we may need a time machine to-"

Wally cleared his throat and Micky glanced at him again, slightly irritated with his earlier behavior towards her. She glared at him and sarcastically said, "What, more scientific-pickup lines doomed-to-fail to test out on me? Or did you just want to skip to the part where I slap you and sic Mr. Todd on you?"

Wally swallowed and laughed nervously. Toby just stared into space. "Uhhm, no...I just, uh..." Micky's eyebrows rose skeptically. She was not impressed. "I was just wondering..."

Micky rolled her eyes and looked away. "The last time you did that, I ended up on the floor with a rug burn on my face and cramps that Mother Nature would envy." Wally looked at her strangely at that last comment and she waved her hand dismissively. "If you were a girl, you would understand." Wally sat down beside her and clasped his hands like a good little boy.

_I don't think I'll be able to go through with this. Not yet at least. I made her too upset._

Micky's phone rang. She screamed in frustration as it played:

_Like a surgeon  
><em>_Cuttin' for the very first time  
><em>_Got your kidneys  
><em>_On my mind_

Wally looked at her strangely. Micky turned it off and glared at Wally again. "So as I was saying, do you want something?" Wally opened and closed his mouth a few times before Micky's gaze softened. "Sorry Wally. It's just…this day is always depressing for me." She looked away dramatically into the distance and made Wally laugh. She smiled and Wally got an idea.

"Hey, Micky…what if I could make you laugh?" She looked at him skeptically. "So what if you can?"

"If I make you laugh her head off in the next 5 hours, then you'll be my Valentine." Micky stared at him and blushed. Brooke happened to walk in just then. Micky looked away and stuttered, "Uh…s-sure, that would work. And if you can't make me laugh my head off, then…"

Wally offered, "Then I'll kiss Brooke."

The room went quiet.

"YOU'LL DO WHAT?"

Both girls screamed at the top of their lungs. Wally cowered behind the couch and Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett both ran into the parlor to see what was wrong. Micky was on her feet now, eyes wide and looking at him incredulously. Brooke fainted. Mrs. Lovett ran over and fanned Brooke and asked, "Blimey, wot's all this commotion? And why is 'lil Brooklyn on the floor?"

Micky was stuttering aimlessly. Sweeney glared at Wally (who was wondering what he had done wrong) and exclaimed loudly, "YOU BROKE MICKY! YOU MURDERER!" He lunged at the teenager and Wally shrieked and ran away. Sweeney stood there, nostrils flaring and hands clenched around two razors and-

* * *

><p>(Character Note:<p>

Sweeney: Micky, can we please get on with the movie?

Me: *stops typing and looks around at the random voices in her head* W-what?

Wally: I actually agree with Mr. Grumpy Skunkman.

Sweeney: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

Wally: EEK! *runs away*

Mrs. Lovett: I love Mr. Todd!

Micky: Well, that was extremely random.

Me: Yes. Yes it was. So, do all you guys agree with Sweeney? Am I just dragging out the torture? Should I finally go on with the story? All in favor say 'aye'.

Sweeney: Yes.

Mrs. Lovett: I love Mr. Todd!

Brooke: Yeah, watevs.

Wally: *briefly shows his face* Yeah. *runs away again*

Tobuscus: I'm booooored.

Reviewers and some random fans of mine (if any are exsistent considering I suck at writing): WE DON'T CARE! WE LOVE YOU MICKY!

Me: D'awww, you guys... :)

Micky: SURE. As long as I still get to be with Wally.

Me: LIKE I WOULD HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY?

Micky: WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!

Me: YEAH WE DO!

Both Mickys: SCREEEEEEEECH!

Brooke: Geez, just get on with it.

Me: Hmm, I just watched the movie and realized that I am way confused with the order of the scenes. This is gonna be really wierd now. Crap...I'm so stupid.

End of really long Character Note)

* * *

><p>Anthony was currently skipping down the middle of a random road (cuz he felt like it, geez) and happened to stop in front of yon fair maidens window. He peeked around the post thing and stared creepily at Johanna. She was cutting...something, and she gazed down and caught Anthony's eye. He smiled brightly and she rolled her eyes. She looked around her room.<p>

Johanna quickly threw her wierd paper doll things that she had been cutting and opened her mini trunk thingy noisily. She said, "Oh, I hope no one is peering into my room like a pervert heard that! That would be incredibly stupid of me!"

She grabbed a very large key (A/N: Seriously, how big were doorknobs back then?) and opened the window. She tossed the key out of the window and it landed on the post. She groaned. "Dangit...I was aiming for that gay guy who obviously is in love with me."

She watched Anthony jump and leap, trying to reach the key. He finally managed to make it fall of the post, but was not able to get out of the way in time. He was hit in the eye with the very large key, and was effectively knocked out.

Johanna sighed.

* * *

><p>Sweeney was standing upstairs sharpening his razor in front of the wierd window while observing Mrs. Lovett, Wally, Brooke and Micky lugged the enormous chair up the tiny steps. It dropped in his shop and Wally yelped in pain. Brooke laughed and Micky ignored him. She was still angry that Wally said he was going to kiss Brooke. She seriously doubted he would make her laugh in the next few hours.<p>

Mrs. Lovett sagged in the chair and looked around. "Oi, where's Toby?"

Brooke shrugged. "Well, author!Micky decided to be stupid and mix the story up a lot. He probably just disappeared randomly because author!Micky thought it would fit the storyline. I bet we've missed like half the songs, too." She pointed to the sky. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, AUTHOR!MICKY!" (A/N: Hey, I resent that!) Micky yelled, "ME TOO!"

Sweeney was ignoring the girls' frantic bickering and said to Mrs. Lovett, "When will that doggone Beadle come? He said before the week is out! Hey, what day is it today anywho?" Mrs. Lovett looked at her watch that magically appeared (Brooke glared at the sky again) (A/N: Oh, shut up, Brooke) and said, "Half past 3." Sweeney nodded, then did a double take.

"Wait...what?"

Wally piped, "It's only Tuesday." Sweeney glared at him and threw his sharpening thingy (A/N: There we go with not remembering names again...) on the ground. Wally gulped and added meekly, "Yes, sir..." Sweeney went to go glare at his reflection in the mirror and Micky stopped arguing. She sang while Brooke and author!Micky fought about the songs.

"Well, maybe if you had reviewed the movie's storyline, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

(A/N: Brooke, I bet you don't even remember what happens next)

"Yes I do! It's...Sweeney kills someone!"

(A/N: Oh, man, you got me. ARE YE DENSE IN THE HEAD? SWEENEY KILLS PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE!)

_Easy now  
><em>_Hush, love, hush  
><em>_Don't distress yourself  
><em>_What's your rush?_

Micky stood next to Sweeney and continued:

_Keep your thoughts  
><em>_Nice and lush  
><em>_Wait_

_Hush, love, hush  
><em>_Think it through  
><em>_Once it bubbles  
><em>_Then what's to do?_

_Watch it close  
><em>_Let it brew  
><em>_Wait_

Sweeney was only half listening as he observed his razor. Micky smirked. Finally he was acting like himself instead of the wierd Daddy thing (A/N: But Micky, I thought you liked that! WHY IS EVERONE AGAINST MEEEEEEE?) He walked away and Micky skipped after him.

_I've been thinking flowers  
><em>_Maybe daisies  
><em>_To brighten up the room_

_Don't you think some flowers  
><em>_Pretty daisies  
><em>_Might relieve the gloom?_

_Ah, wait  
><em>_Love, wait_

Mrs. Lovett hummed along, all the while gazing at Sweeney like a lovestruck pigeon (A/N: I really don't know). Sweeney growled, "When can I kill the Judge, then?" He walked out of the shop and Micky yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Mrs. Lovett chased after him and wrestled him back into the room. Sweeney cried, "Uncle, uncle!" and she let him go. He rubbed his head and pouted. Micky tutted him.

_Slow, love, slow  
><em>_Time's so fast  
><em>_Now goes quickly  
><em>_See, now it's past_

_Soon will come  
><em>_Soon will last  
><em>_Wait_

_Don't you know  
><em>_Silly man?  
><em>_Half the fun is to  
><em>_Plan the plan_

_All good things  
><em>_Come to those who can  
><em>_Wait_

_Gillyflowers, maybe  
><em>_'Stead of daisies  
><em>_I don't know, though  
><em>_What do you think?_

Someone was coming up the stairs and the group looked at the door. Sweeney (like the ninja he is) did a spin-move and hid behind the door. It swung open and squashed him. Everyone burst into laughter until Anthony said, "I GOT A KEY I GOT A KEY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR!"

Mrs. Lovett asked, "What's wrong?"

Anthony started, "Well, see, I was stalking this girl named Johanna and she has blonde hair and wears very revealing dresses and she's so hot and I was looking around the post thing and she chucked this key at me and it got stuck on the post and so I tried to get it down but it knocked me out and then I woke up surrounded by women who were wearing prostitute-like dresses and one wanted to give me a lap-dance and I said no and then CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR and I came straight here and I need your help cuz she's trapped by an evil perverted Judge who wanted to rape Micky, Brooke, and me and I think his name is Judge Turnip and have I mentioned those prostitutes and CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR CEEEEEEEENSOOOOOOOOR?"

Brooke, Micky, and Wally's jaws dropped. Brooke whispered, "Sooo...he's not gay." Micky whispered back, "He could be bi." Wally screamed at them, "WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS?"

Sweeney grumbled from behind the door and Mrs. Lovett held up a finger in aha formation. "I agree completely with Mr. T. You must bring her here so that we may protect her from the evil Judge Turnip!" Sweeney grumbled again and Mrs. Lovett corrected, "Judge Turpin!"

Anthony yelled, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and ran out the door. The door closed and Sweeney fell on his face. Brooke peered out the window and groaned. She pointed and yelled at the sky again, "REALLY?"

Signor Pirelli appeared from out of the tunnel.

Micky and Wally shook their heads.

Pirelli pranced up the steps and announced, "I-a hope-a you-a do-a not-a mind-a. Toby-a is-a drinking-a all-a of-a your-a gin-a downstairs-a." Mrs. Lovett ran downstairs, eager to see Toby again. Sweeney came to and looked up.

"Didn't I already kill you?"

(A/N: Shut up, Sweeney)

Micky snuck up with the teapot and started killing him. Brooke took a razor and finished him off. Wally cowered in a dark corner. The girls high-fived and kicked Pirelli over to the trunk. They opened it and found an already dead Pirelli staring at them (A/N: Sigh...). They stuffed the other one in their anyway.

They skipped down the stairs singing:

_Don't you call me  
><em>_Pudgy, portly, or stout  
><em>_Cuz I'll tell you once again  
><em>_Who's fat?_

Wally tried to erase the images from his head and Sweeney rolled his eyes. He heaved the ginger over his shoulder and carried him downstairs for supper.

* * *

><p>I am sooooo...gonna die for this.<p>

I watched Sweeney Todd on YouTube, and I almost hit myself at how much I messed up the storyline. So this chapter was really wierd...just sayin...Meeer is an inside joke, btw, so it's okay if you're confused. If you wanna know the story, you know what to do...AND I SO GOT BROOKE'S SIGNATURE FROM ONE OF MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS! WHENEVER I READ YOUR REVIEWS I LAUGH MY HEAD OFF.

Hopefully things will make more sense in the next chappies. Not really off of my hiatus though...so I may not update next weekend. Sorry, guys...

Wow, this chapter is really long...and btw, don't kill me for screwing this up. PLEASE? How bout you leave a nice review instead...SEE IF WE CAN GET TO 35!  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	17. Go se, Brooke

Oh. My. _Freaking_. Pudding.  
>I just checked my reviews for this story, and I'm up to freaking 42! HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! GEEZ.<br>I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

**Thanks as always to**:  
><strong>I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane<strong>: Potato muffins sound surprisingly good right now. Hmm. That amazing. Tell your doctor that I'm sorry.  
><strong>JohnnyDepp4ever<strong>: Oooooohkay that makes a lot of sense.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever<strong>: Well, I watched the movie, and I got the storyline completely messed up, and I felt really stupid, sooooo…yeah. It's awesome that your friends love this too! My friends don't really support me for this…Brooke knows, but I haven't had her read this in a LOOOOOOONG time. She'd probably die, come back to haunt me, but instead just shake her head miserably at me.  
><strong>JohnnyDepp4Life<strong>: Oooookaaaaaay…I told you so. So…did you find him attractive?  
><strong>CoolPerson<strong>: Btw, love your name. YEEEEUUUUUUH! I'm a comic genius!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x2<strong>: Yeah…poor Wally will never get that out of his head. Sigh…btw, that's a pretty good idea. I'll prolly use it! I've seen it done many times on pictures on DeviantArt, but never tried it myself…  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x3<strong>: BWAAHAHAHAHAH! I JUST NOTICED THAT! Nice.  
><strong>Anonymous<strong>: Yeah…I SHALL.  
><strong>Sparrow's Gal<strong>: All of those moments…I remember them so dearly…oh, Judge Turnip…mmmm, fricken reminded me of chicken…I had chicken yesterday…  
><strong>ScissorhandsFan<strong>: Thank you! Some of it I have actually experienced, some I get from other places, and some just randomly come to me. I keep getting compliments that I write good stories. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?  
>PS: I suck at reviewing too, so it's all good. No need to be shy like me…<br>**MahFrehndsArShinee**: Ha, I have a Nook, so I kinda understand your problems...  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x2<strong>: Ha, I wonder, too...more on Booh-we-oop later...I think I'll still have Tobuscus come back, just for you ;) hmm, a noodle...oh, you'd better watch out Wally, I has some crazy fangirl reviewers who want us to get together...  
>Wally: That's just wrong.<br>Micky: No. No it's not.  
>BROOKES OF THE WORLD, UNITE! Uh, bye to you too...<br>**Sweeney4ever x4**: Nice. Just…*tearing up* I've never been told I'm awesome before… *sobs with joy*  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x5<strong>: HOLY CRAP PERSON YOU APPARENTLY LIKE THIS STORY. OMG ROTFL! I would pay a guy to say that to me just so I could tell him that! I seriously have to tell Brooke that. Holy crap, I'm crying...that would be SO worth it.

So…that was really long. My stories are becoming popular lately, and it's really weird for me…DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LIKE IT THOUGH!

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, downstairs, Brooke and Micky were stuffing their faces with some food that Mrs. Lovett had <em>bought<em>. They looked up when Sweeney came down the stairs hauling Wally on his back awkwardly. He deposited the ginger (none too gently, I might add) into an empty booth and came to sit next to the girls. He sighed, took a shot of gin, and looked around at them.

"So…what's new?"

Brooke grunted and struggled to swallow her sandwich while Micky gestured at the booth. "What's wrong with Wally? He sick or something?" Sweeney shrugged and reached for a fresh bottle of gin. Brooke warned, "You'd better save some of that for Toby. Or he'll go monkeys*** all over you."

Sweeney paused and grimaced slightly. "Literally or figuratively?"

Micky looked at Brooke when she answered, "I really don't know." Micky reassured, "Not literally, Sweeney. It's okay, we have more in the back. Anywho, we better go." The girls stood up as Wally was coming to. Sweeney just glanced up and asked, "Where do you think you're going, young ladies?"

Micky explained, "We're just gonna go to the next scene, Sweeney. No biggie."

Sweeney's eyes narrowed and growled, "Yes, biggie. It's dangerous out there, and I don't feel comfortable with you two going out alone." Micky and Brooke looked at each other and Brooke muttered, "And just when we thought author!Micky was cooperating…"

(A/N: HA. YEARITE)

Micky patted Sweeney's shoulder and said, "Sweeney, we'll be fine. I promise."

Now Sweeney was standing. He glared down at the two and Brooke whined, "But…but the _movie!_" Sweeney waggled his pointer finger at her and replied, "No buts! Either a responsible young man with preferably red hair and green eyes and super powers will go with you or you don't go at all." Micky and Brooke turned at the same time, looking at Wally, who was rubbing his head and smiling crookedly.

Brooke groaned and whispered, "Do we really have to take him? You two will just end up making out!"

Micky scoffed and whispered back, "No, we won't. Do you wanna see the next scene or not?"

Brooke huffed and crossed her arms angrily, but nodded. Micky turned to Sweeney again and said, "We'll take Wally." Sweeney shrugged again and replied, "Okay." Brooke gaped and Micky face-palmed.

Wally was just confused.

Oh, Sweeney.

* * *

><p>Wally staggered a little in the streets and yanked his pants up again. "Tell me again why I couldn't wear my own clothes instead of Mr. Todd's?" Brooke turned her head, looked him up and down quickly and said, "Because you have to blend in." She added as an afterthought, "Also, Micky probably just wanted to creep on you and watch you change."<p>

Micky hit Brooke with all her might as she laughed. Wally blushed, but sidled next to Micky. "So…"

Micky refused to look at him when she said, "Yeah…so…"

Wally gestured randomly in the air as he tried to figure out what to say. He finally thought of something and he said, "Uh…what's the next scene about?"

Brooke said daintily, "Ladies in their sensitivities."

Wally recoiled and exclaimed, "_WHAUT?_"

Micky calmed him, saying, "It's just a song. Simmer, child…" She put her hand on his arm. Wally noticed and he smirked. He slowly moved his hand to cover her own and she pulled it away with an eep. Wally hid his disappointment while Brooke just rolled her eyes. "We're here."

The Judge and Beadle were waltzing down the cobblestone. After a few steps, however, they started to literally…waltz. Like, ¾ time hardcore waltz, with violins and everything.

For a while, the teens just watched it all go down. Finally, Brooke got bored and marched right up to them and slapped them all over the place. The Judge shrieked and held his face. He turned to the Beadle and gasped. "I've…I've been b****-slapped." He looked at Brooke again and glared. "How dare yo—oh, it's just you, young prostitute-in-training."

Micky and Wally rushed up to prevent Brooke from castrating the Judge. She growled deep in her throat and Wally winced, really not in the mood to get his man-parts cut off.

Brooke nudged the two off of her and she brushed herself off in a dignified manner. She didn't look at the Judge and Beadle again, however. Micky muttered, "Just sing the song already."

The Beadle and Judge looked at each other and began singing in opera voices:

_Food  
><em>_Glorious food!  
>Hot sausage and mustard!<em>

Brooke face-palmed and hit them in the backs of their heads. They began again:

_Your love  
><em>_Your love  
><em>_Your love  
><em>_Is my drug_

Brooke groaned and hit them again.

_You are so beautiful  
><em>_To me  
><em>_Can't you see?_

This time, Wally and Micky laughed, but Brooke just kept hitting the two idiots.

_Denim  
><em>_Graphic tees  
><em>_Leggings and tunics  
><em>_More denim  
><em>_Backpacks, hair combs, hair gel_

SMACK!

_Hit me with your best shot_

SMACK!

_We will be invincible!_

SMACK!

Micky protested, "Wow. I love that song, and yet you change it. I don't even know you anymore, Brooke Sloboden. _Go se_…" Brooke paused from her slapping session (A/N: Ooh…that sounded dirty…bad Brookey, you're so bad…) to raise a signature Micky eyebrow at her friend and say, "Go what now?"

Micky huffed and said, "'Go se' means crap in Chinese. At least that's what they say on Firefly…" Brooke rolled her eyes and got back to work, mumbling, "Besides, it was two Pat Benatar songs in a row."

_I love you  
><em>_You love me  
><em>_We're j—_

SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK!

_Take my love  
><em>_Take my land  
><em>_Take me where I cannot stand_

Micky started freaking out and Brooke just furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't know this one." Micky screamed, "I DO!" Brooke screamed back, "WELL _APPARENTLY!_" Micky sang the next three lines with fervor.

_I don't care  
><em>_I'm still free  
><em>_You can't take the skies from me!_

Wally whined, "I'm bored." Brooke glared at him and threatened, "If you're Tobuscus in disguise, I will personally kill you. WITH THIS THUMB!" She held out her left thumb and wiggled it a little bit, making Wally go cross-eyed at the close proximity.

Micky agreed, "Yeah, Brooke. They're obviously retarded, so let's ditch this Popsicle stand and spend the rest of the scene somewhere else." She turned to the ginger and asked innocently, "Where do you wanna go, Walls?"

Wally couldn't take anymore of this waiting around and flirting and getting nowhere. He had to act.

Now.

He grabbed Micky around the waist and vaguely heard Brooke groan in the background. Micky tried to push him away, but he whispered seductively:

"I wanna go where I can only assume no hormone-driven teenager has gone before."

With that, he kissed her.

* * *

><p>Today was…really, really awkward in band. I just…*sigh* Oh geez, I can't even…you guys, I don't even know. *facepalm* I'll just tell you- *snort* I can't even keep a straight face. Becca was doing something at the piano in Kittleson's room, and she sees Brooke and I laughed our heads off. She comes over, looking concerned, and asks, "Whacha talkin' about?" Brooke's like, "Gangsters takin' a crap." That is legitimately what we were talking about, no joke. But Becca just looks confused for a second, then brightens happily and goes:<br>*strangled grunt* Yo.  
>ROTFL.<p>

Oh, Becca. She's gonna have to guest star.  
>Also, I thought you should know that Brooke's dad, TIM-OH-THIGH is a Mexican Oompa Loompa. If you wanna know the story, then…you know what to do.<br>Anywho, back to that last scene…pfft, d'awwwww…

_Micky: author!Micky, how could you cut the scene off right then? WHY?_  
><em>Brooke: Personally, I'm glad.<em>  
><em>Micky: Shut up, Brooke.<em>  
><em>Wally: Yeah. Shut up. I certainly enjoyed it… *wink wink*<em>  
><em>Brooke: I will cut you.<em>

So…why don't you guys review to make Brooke all happy and cheerfully Brooke again? She be kinda PMSy, lately…and let me know if you knew any of the songs!  
><strong>PS:<strong> Kudos to you if you watch Firefly and/or knew what go se' meant before I explained it! If nobody's seen it…well, I suppose I still love you…I suppose.  
><strong>PPS:<strong> Also, what scene is next? Not sure when I'll have fast Internet again, and I don't remember. So leave a comment and let me know…plez?  
><strong>PPSS:<strong> Plez is dedicated to Becca, just sayin'…  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	18. HULK SMASH

So…I just realized that last chapter was half story, half author's note.  
>*facepalm*<br>I'll try and keep it short today…

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**kds7800:** Yes. Yes it is spelled right. Yes. Yes it does rhyme.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever:<strong> Thanks for telling me! I got to work almost immediately after I read your review. First I watch Monsters vs. Aliens. I don't know why. I love that song. I started singing it while I was reading and I'm just glad no one was around, cuz I was singing in an opera voice. Fairfarren to you too. That's a really good movie…  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee:<strong> Ha, calm down! Oh, dat's okay…Firefly is that one show with Nathan Fillion in it! Oh gosh, that man is AWESOME! I love him to death…oh, on the new episode of Castle (when I'm writing this, it's MONDAY, MONDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON MONDAY), Adam Baldwin is guest starring! AAAAAAH (he was on Firefly, too).  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x2:<strong> Ha, I feel your pain, broski (please don't take any offense, I call everyone that now, whether they're a girl or guy—bro, broski, you know…). INDIANA JONES IS DA BOMB! I LEGITIMATELY NAMED MY CAT AFTER HIM! HIS NAME'S INDY AND HE'S SUCH A BRAT. Ha, kthnxbai to you too!

MEXICAN OOMPA LOOMPA STORY (skip if you wanna):  
>Me: My dad's getting fat.<br>Brooke: My dad is fat.  
>Me: Your dad's short.<br>Brooke: He's short and fat. He's like an Oompa Loompa.  
>Me: *laughs*<br>Brooke: Except…he's not orange and he kinda looks Mexican.  
>Me: *laughs harder* So…he's a Mexican Oompa Loompa?<br>Brooke & Me: *dies of laughter*

I bless your faces.

* * *

><p>Brooke was p*ssed.<p>

Like, hardcore p*ssed.

Like, HULK SMASH p*ssed.

Literally.

Brooke screamed and punched the wall, leaving a large dent. Micky and Wally were cowering in a booth, shaking with fear. "I've never seen her like this," Wally mumbled. Micky mumbled back:

"Well, obviously you weren't there when her brother ate all the Twinkies in the house. We had to hide in the basement, but she broke down the door with her bare hands and almost strangled Jacob. Then she went nuts, busted a window with her foot, and ran down the road. We found her three days later in the bathtub, sucking her thumb and rocking back and forth while the shower was on. She was muttering something like, 'That's my toilet paper' and 'stop hitting me with a pineapple'. It was one of the most disturbing weeks of my life."

Wally's eye twitched.

"I…wasn't aware she was capable of that."

Micky nodded. "There's a lot about her that you should be afraid of."

Mrs. Lovett walked in the front door with Sweeney on her tail and she yelled, "Wot's all this? Brooke, what'd you do?" Sweeney took in the mess with admiration.

Brooke turned slowly and shrieked at Sweeney. He frowned and shook his finger at her, saying, "That is no way to speak to your father, young lady! Now, tell the nice pie-maker what happened, and everything will be f—_GAH!_"

"Brooke, NO!"

"HOLY SHIZNIT!

"_WALLY!"_

* * *

><p><strong>~Three hours earlier~<strong>

Things became really awkward between Wally and Micky since, well…

You know.

Brooke huffed and pulled her dress up to cover herself a little more. A perverted English guy made suggestive movements with his eyebrows, and Brooke decked him.

Wally was on her left. Micky was on her right. They didn't so much as glance at one another as they walked back to the shop. It was around noon, and the trio was hungry. Wally more so, considering his metabolism problem.

Speaking of which, said ginger's stomach started growling like Toothless the dragon. Brooke and Micky stopped to yell "NIGHT FURY!" and duck down on the ground, covering all important appendages. Wally looked back at them and made a face. He kept walking and called over his shoulder:

"Fine…I'm sure you guys don't mind eating meat pies tonight…"

The two girls leaped up and were by his side in a matter of milliseconds. Wally smirked and they were quiet for a while until Brooke broke the silence, sounding hopeful when she said, "That means you're paying, right?"

Wally deflated.

They arrived in the middle of a marketplace. They glanced around as Wally's stomach lead the way. When the trio stopped by each stand, they listened for Tummy's approval. So far, they had passed a fish stand, fruit stand, a burrito stand, AND a chimmichonga (A/N: I, uh…really don't know how to spell that…) stand. Brooke and Micky were growing hungrier and PMSier by the minute.

And in Brooke's case, literally.

You know what I mean…

Anywho, Wally kept walking around, sniffing and sighing at every food he saw. Finally, his stomach seemed to find something appealing and growled in satisfaction.

The girls hopped up in excitement. They rubbed their hands together in preparation (A/N: Why do people do that?) and closed their eyes and opened their mouths for Wally to pop in the food.

Wally grabbed two handfuls of chocolate substance and shoved it into the eager mouths. They squinted and chewed for a while, then Micky opened her eyes and smiled with her mouth full. She mumbled almost inaudibly, "Fith is fo goofth! Whafh ith it?"

Wally smiled and showed her the package. Brooke choked and spat the stuff at his face as soon as she read the label. Micky paled and swallowed her mouthful slowly. Wally disgustedly wiped his face off and glared at Brooke, who was doubled over, retching in the middle of the road. Micky raised a shaky finger.

"I-Is…did I-I just…did we just eat chocolate covered peanuts?"

Wally nodded quickly. Micky put a hand on his shoulder to keep her balance. Wally frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

Micky whispered, "Brooke is highly allergic to peanuts." Wally's green eyes widened in shock as he looked over to the taller brunette. Brooke had collapsed on the ground holding her stomach. Her eyes were watering and she struggled to breath. She was sobbing loudly in agony as her body reacted to the 'poison'. Micky's own eyes were tearing up as she watched.

"Brooke…"

Wally freaked out, to say the least. He rushed to Brooke's side and said, "She's going into anaphylactic shock! We need—" he looked around at Micky. "Doesn't she carry a needle with her medicine in it? In case of emergencies?"

Micky shrugged and started sobbing quietly. Wally blanched and sat back on his backside, only able to watch helplessly as the girl he had come to call his frie—acquaintance died in front of him. Her visage was suddenly blurred by his own tears as Brooke fell still.

Micky and Wally seemed to be the only people in the world right now. All the other market-goers had faded into the background and Micky shook next to him. The ginger bowed his head respectively. He—

"PFFFFFFFFFFFT AHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH! I'M SORRY! I'M—I'M SORRY, I CAN'T KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE, I JUST—HOLY CRAP, YOUR FACE! IT WAS—AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Wally's head shot up as the older brunette starting laughing so hard she was crying. He blanched for a second time and he pointed aimlessly at random things. "I—you—I just—didn't you—what?"

Micky hadn't been shaking in sorrow. She had been shaking because of the laughter she was holding inside of her. Now she was rolling around in the dirty road, kicking her feet and holding her stomach. "I'M GONNA DIE! AAAAH! BROOKE! THAT WAS SUCH A CLASSIC! HOLY—*pant*—HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!"

Brooke was pounding the ground in hysterics, barely able to suck in enough breath. Micky said to Wally, "BROOKE'S ALLERGIC TO POLLEN, NOT—HOLY CRAP! AHAHAHAHAHAAAH! I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Wally finally seemed to catch on and he scowled darkly.

"I hate you guys."

(A/N: I so got you, didn't I? *evil smile*)

* * *

><p>Seven minutes later, Wally still refused to speak to the girls (even when Micky stood in front of him and flashed him—he had just looked at the smoggy sky). Hey, it's a long time for a teenage speedster.<p>

"Micky, we're gonna miss the next scene."

"I know! And it's one of my favorites!"

Wally was tempted to ask which one it was, but that would be breaking the Code of Silence. The girls seemed to know this, and they tormented him by saying nothing else about it. They just started talking about random girlish things. Like…tampons.

Wally shuddered.

_**(A/N: Please skip this part if you do not feel comfortable with talking about 'women's products' or Mother Nature's 'gift'. Thank you)**_

"—no, see, I think they're nice because they flare out more, ya know?"

"Yeah, I get it, but it still feels weird and all that. Like, when did you first start wearing tampons?"

"Oh, probably when I was in seventh grade. My mom convinced me to try them, and I'm so glad I did, cuz, like, you can't do anything with pads."

"Right? You can't swim, or do handstands…ew, what if you did a handstand and all of a sudden your period came?"

"OOOH NASTY! IT WOULD LIKE…OHH GROSS!"

Brooke and Micky shuddered.

"But, see…like, I don't feel comfortable with…the whole 'putting them in' process…it's like…*shudders*…you know…"

"Sexual intercourse?"

"OKAY LET'S JUST TERMINATE THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW."

_**(A/N: Kay, you can start reading again)**_

_Just shoot me now._

* * *

><p>They had finally arrived at the shop after a long trip of tampons, Justin Beiber mocking, and Ryan Reynolds swooning. Typical girl-talk.<p>

Wally couldn't take any more and finally just screamed at Brooke, "RYAN REYNOLDS IS NOT HOT! IF ANYONE'S HOT, IT BE DAVID BECKHAM OR CHANNING TATUM!"

Awkward silence.

Brooke slowly turned around. Micky backed away with wide eyes. When Brooke was standing in front of Wally, she flared her nostrils. Wally opened his mouth to say something, but Brooke held up one finger in front of his face.

"Strike one: You yelled at me. Strike two: You said Ryan Reynolds is not the sexy beast that he is. And strike three…"

She paused for dramatic effect and whispered quietly:

"You mentioned the name Channing Tatum."

"You're out, broski."

Wally turned to look at Micky, who was now hiding in a booth with an overturned table in front of her. Suddenly, he was poked (hard) in the chest by Brooke's pointer finger. She stabbed him with it and accompanied it with a monologue.

"You have been p*ssing me off since you got here. Now you've crossed the line. First, it was the endless flirting. I had to help you with that, for goodness sakes, and you still can't get into anyone's pants! Second, Micky will not stop talking about you. All the gingersnap jokes and wondering if red was his natural hair color. IT'S DRIVING ME MAD. Third, you freaking said the name CHANNING TATUM in my presence! I FREAKING HATE THAT MAN! DID YOU KNOW HE WAS A MALE STRIPPER BEFORE BECOMING AN ACTOR (A/N: No joke, he seriously was)? THAT'S JUST SICK! So now it's high time I get rid of you, once and for all. YOU MADE HULK ANGRY! HULK SMASH!"

She lunged at the redhead and he shrieked, running to the other side of the room. But…he was slower than he usually was.

"What the crap?"

Micky gasped as Brooke's hand wrapped around Wally's neck. She smiled sadistically and laughed evilly. "You never even noticed! Ahahaa, you didn't notice, the—the needle, the—weeeeeee!"

Okay, now she was seriously crazy.

Wally wrestled out of her grip and scrambled away to the booth. Brooke barely even noticed as she started dancing around and singing to the meat pies. Then she turned around and punched the wall.

Wally asked, "What's wrong with her?"

Micky responded, "I think all those years hanging around with Becca has finally gotten to her. She's turned…" She looked at the ginger somberly.

"…bipolar."

Wally gasped.

"No!"

After a few more minutes of warily observing Brooke's behavior, Wally asked, "What didn't I notice? What the heck was she talking about? And why is my speed gone?"

Micky wrung her hands nervously and answered sheepishly, "I…when I put my hand on your shoulder in the market, I kinda…well, it injected something in you."

"YOU DID WHAT NOW?"

She shook her head rapidly and reassured, "It wasn't anything dangerous! It was just to slow you down. It was supposed to be a joke, but with Brooke like this, it's just a danger."

The ginger growled and stayed quiet.

(A/N: Wait…read the last sentence again. Oh well, you guys know what I mean)

They barely registered when Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett walked in the shop. Brooke freaked out and attacked Mr. Todd. She latched onto his back and went for a mini-rodeo, Sweeney being the bull, Brooke being the cowboy, and Wally…

Wally was the rodeo clown.

"Brooke, NO!"

"HOLY SHIZNIT!"

"WALLY!"

Since Wally's speed was jacked, he was screwed. Hardcore screwed. Fortunately, he had an adoring fan who would risk life and limb to protect him.

Unfortunately, that adoring fan was Micky.

She jumped in front of Sweeney and growled. Wally scrambled away to safety. Mrs. Lovett was sobbing, "I wanna hug, too!"

All of an extremely random and odd sudden, the door slammed open. Everyone turned and gasped. Well, to be honest, everyone but Sweeney turned. Brooke was currently gnawing on his head and it was somewhat difficult to move. Yet the barber still gasped in awe.

"Awwwwww…"

(A/N: Wally, stop that)

Standing in the doorway…

Was Batman.

"NO FREAKING WAY!"

* * *

><p>Batman made short work of the scene.<p>

First, he did a triple handspring and knocked Brooke off of Sweeney's back with a kick. She landed on the floor with a thud.

Then, he straddled (A/N: Whenever I hear that word, I think naughty things…) her waist and held her down.

Woah, Batman. Just…woah.

Anyway, the Dark Knight then took out a syringe, and while Brooke was hissing like Catwoman, he stabbed her with it. He released her and everyone stood back.

Brooke just stood, wobbled a little, then said, "I feel…goofy." She collapsed in a heap at Batman's feet and he picked her up, carrying her out to the parlor to lay her on the couch.

(A/N: Kay, so far, I've kinda made Bats sound like…pedo. Sorry)

The rest of the group followed him and watched him pull the blankets over her and fix her up all nice and pretty. Mrs. Lovett asked with a shaky voice, "Will she be alright, Mr. Batman?"

Batman grunted.

Micky let out a long breath of relief. Wally held in a groan that he would've gotten smacked for. Micky asked, "How did you even get here, Batman?"

He just looked at her and said:

"I'm Batman."

He walked out the door without another word. Wally nodded and said, "That's a pretty good answer, actually."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

The bell in Mrs. Lovett's shop rang and Sweeney glared. "Who the devil would bug us on such a disastrous day?"

Mrs. Lovett went downstairs, along with Sweeney, Micky, and Wally. The latter three stopped on the stairs when they heard a familiar voice. Wally looked back at them and made a face. "What's wrong?"

Sweeney just opened and closed his mouth a few times. Micky replied darkly:

"The Judge. He's here."

". . ."

"DUNDUNDUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN."

"Wow. Way to ruin the dramatic effect, Wally."

* * *

><p>Lately, I've been really inspired by Michael Buble (there's supposed to be a little ticky thing above the e but I don't know how to do that). HOLY CRAP I FRICKEN LOVE THIS FRICKEN MAN. Seriously, though, I'm in love with this guy's voice, if that's possible.<p>

AND I'm gonna start taking a random poll thing. Just cuz I like hearing from you guys. Just reply in your reviews, plez!

_**Poll #1:**_ Who _has seen How to Train Your Dragon? Who loves it to death? Who wishes Toothless was real so they could fly around on him?_

NOOOOOOOO MORE FILLER. GAH, I HATE IT. OH WELL. NEXT CHAPPIE WE'LL GET TO THE NEXT SCENE. I JUST THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD ENJOY THIS SCENE. I ALSO WANTED TO UPDATE WITH SOMETHING.  
>Why am I yelling?<br>~MickyinBoots


	19. CHAPPIE OF RANDOMNESS PART 1

Hewwo! I felt like giving you guys something, just to celebrate the end of the school year. Aaaaaaaand…my birthday's on Saturday the 19th! Imma be 15 (finally)! On Friday, a few girls are coming over. We're gonna go to the Avengers (OHEMGEE CHRIS EVANS IS DA BOMB) and go to Dad's for a sleepover. The 18th is actually my dad's birthday (yeah, it's a day before mine…but he's gonna be 51, so…), but my actual birthday is gonna be stolen from me cuz my brother's graduation party is on Saturday *weep*. There's more space at Dad's anyway. Oh, did I mention who was coming?

Salem, Kaylee, Katy, Becca, and BROOKE.

Holy crap, words cannot define how random that kid is.

Anywho…this isn't actually a chapter, truth be told. It is actually CHAPTER OF RANDOMNESS. I'll be discussing random things that have happened in my life. Like, really random. Just…don't even not even. And since I haven't had my party yet, this will be a two-parter. I expect much random to come from Friday the 18th.

(DUNDUNDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN.)

Also, I'll thank my reviewers when the story starts up again. Enjoy my random life!

No, seriously, enjoy it.

* * *

><p><strong>~Free time in Band~<strong>

Becca: *saying something that for the life of me I can't remember*

Dylan: *urrmmm…honestly? Rubbing his uhh…nipple. No joke*

Becca: *looks up* And then there's Dylan.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Restaurant in Washburn (field trip)~**

Brooke: *in a restaurant eating fries and staring at Micky across the room*

Micky: *talking and glances over*

Brooke: *takes a slow and seductive bite*

Micky: *stares back, leans down and drinks her pop seductively—through a straw!*

Brooke & Micky: *stares and eats seductively at each other for about 2 minutes*

Micky: *trying SO HARD not to laugh*

Brooke: *pokerface*

Becca: *glances at Brooke, then at Micky, then makes a weird face*

Micky: *chokes on her pop from laughter*

Brooke: *keeps eating seductively*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's Food and Fuel~**

Brooke: *eating some fries*

Micky: *whips out her phone* I'm gonna take a video of you eating. And post it on Youtube!

Brooke: *snorts*

Micky: *starts recording*

Brooke: *eats fries seductively*

Micky: Reeooowr!

Micky & Brooke: *laugh*

Micky: Don't choke.

Brooke: *checks* Nope, I'm not choking.

Micky: Okay. Just makin' sure. Hey, lookit all that food in the background.

Brooke: *turns around to look, makes a weird face*

Barry: *brings mozzy sticks and says something I can't remember*

Micky: ME! *laughs* Yum.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's~**

Brooke: *grabs Micky's Mellow Yellow*

Micky: NOOOO!

Brooke: *shakes*

Micky: *watches silently for seven seconds or so*

Brooke: *puts down Mellow Yellow*

Micky: I hate you forever.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's~**

Brooke: *takes Mellow Yellow*

Micky: NOOOO! Oh, my finger's covering it (the camera)!

Brooke: *laughs and shakes* And…shaky-shaky-shaky-shaky THROW! *moves Mellow Yellow, pause*

Micky: *mouth agape in silent pain*

Brooke: *laughs really hard*

Barry: Cheeseburger and fries?

Brooke: *chuckles* Right here.

Barry: *walks away*

Micky: MY FINGER!

Brooke: *keeps laughing*

Micky: Ooooow…*laughs*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's~**

Brooke: *holds up a box of Trojan, uh…you-know-whats…*

Micky: …

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's~**

Brooke & Micky: *looking at magazines out of boredom*

Brooke: *lifts up a sports magazine*

Sports Magazine: I have a half-naked woman on the front of me!

Brooke: Eeeeeeh! *drops*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Barry's~**

Brooke & Micky: *put Reader's Digest away and turn around, sigh, and wonder what to do next*

Brooke: WAAAAAUUUUUHHHAAR.

Micky: *whuttehcrap!Face*

Brooke & Micky: *die of laughter*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**Brooke's notes to me, written in Physical Science throughout the semester (spelling errors and all):**

Dearest Micky,  
>Alloooooo Govnaaa<br>How are thee? So behhhgershnuflingerburg!  
>I have no idea *arrow* what that is Haha WTJ!<br>BUT  
>Domo is<br>*pic of Domo*  
>Winning<br>Not Charlie  
>Sheen :D Ok Bye :)<p>

*pic of a Ninja Penguin*  
>Hiya Micky,<br>I heart mythbusters AND  
>ninjas! Blahhhh ninjas<br>are sooooooo cool!  
>I wanna go to a store<br>With a bunch of ninja knuj!  
>I aslo wanna walk on da water! *pic of person walking on water* kina<br>like dat hehehe :D but shyaa  
>Imma fascinated by sharp objects<br>Ooooh ladies room o.O  
>YO fAce HAHA Puke<br>Frowin up! Blerghelshnurf  
>Enduinblogel!<br>YA K Bye

Hellllllllooooooooo  
>Micky *smiley*<br>How are you! Leg.  
>Haha I've never puked throwin up! :D Hehe<br>:P Silly Willy Bo  
>BILLY<br>Okie Bye  
>*smiley*<p>

Dear Micky,  
>I lalalala love writing random<br>notes to you :D I also love you! 3  
>Sooooo yeAh :D It's pretty fun.<br>I also got tired of writing with  
>my left hand Haha! :D I like<br>writing this :D :Dhaha GreAt time!  
>Anyway Mrs. T is like dying right<br>now XD Yeaaa but(t) I'm very  
>bored right now :D hehe Yeah, Yaaa<br>Imma gooo Buh-Bye now  
>Byeeeeee<br>:D

you  
>are…<br>CuTe!  
>*smiley*<p>

Are you made of  
>Copper &amp; Tellerium…<br>Cause you are  
>CuTe<br>*arrow* Hehe  
>Dearest Micky,<br>HIIII! :D  
>How goes it! I bet it<br>tis goin! Dontcha know eh? Well  
>I DO! HAHA! I don't know<br>what's so funny. So I'm vury  
>bored! Soooooooooo herfmanderpatron!<br>Yep. That's my new word. The word that  
>has… wait for it….. NO MEANING<br>O.o! What tis this madness!  
>Actually it's normal.. most of my words have<br>no meaning. OH WELL! Kep. Bye.  
>P.S I 3 gir AKA Invader Zim<br>P.S.S Yo yo's are Fricken Awesome :D

Dear Micky's Mom,  
>Please don't take Micky<br>away from me :'( I will  
>be lost and my life will<br>Come to an abrupt end.  
>I will kidnap Micky<br>and keep her captive in my  
>basement! :) Therefore She<br>Can't go to Central :D. Yep  
>So it's settled that I<br>Will keep her captive! HAHA  
>I'll make sure to give her<br>Pudding everyday! Bye now!  
>P.S. Domo always wins :D<p>

Aloha Micky!  
>How's it goin! Oooooh<br>School is almost over! (woot!)  
>I'm super pumped for Friday!<br>ParrrrrtttAAAAAyyyy! In da You-Es-AYY  
>Psh YAA! Oh by the way<br>I still didn't watch Asdf movies  
>O.o I know Bro it's insane!<br>Humumunukunukuapuaa Makahekemalahenie ooh  
>Oh. I didn't spell that right. *arrow*<br>Hurgleshnurfindubeda! New. Word.  
>GAH! I'm bored up the<br>butt hole! K Bye *smiley*  
>P.S DOMO *pic of Domo*<br>It looks like a gumdrop with legs! *arrow*

(. . .)

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Anywhere, anytime~**

Micky: What is wrong with your body?

Brooke: *imitates auto-tuned voice* Hi, Blue, how you do?

Micky: What is wrong with your voice?

Brooke: There ain't…nothin' wrong wit mah voice, shawtaaaaay.

Micky: *points and squints in suspicion* You're makin' some weird sounds.

Brooke: *bounces around* Oh. Uh, that. I swallowed a bee or somethin'. Maybe a…ROBOT FROG. I dunno…but it sound sick as BLEEP.

Everyone else around them: *give Micky & Brooke weird looks as they continue this madness for another minute and a half*

Brooke: A raccoon!

Micky: Konichiwa!

Brooke & Micky: *karate stance* NATURE'S NINJA.

Micky: *snaps*

Brooke: Oooooooooh BLEEEEEEEEP!

Micky: You sound really stupid.

Brooke: Yeah, right? My voice is tight as BLEEP. Hey ladies…you like the sound of mah vooooooiiiice?

Micky: *imitates crowd cheering*

Brooke: I can't hear you. I said do you like the sound of mah vo-o-o-o-o-ooooice?

Everyone else around them: *shakes head and walks away*

Micky: Why am I friends with you?

Brooke: Cuuuuuuuz I'm awesome.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Summer Biology, after lunch~**

Micky: *karate stance* NATURE'S NINJA.

Noah: Whoa.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

(OMG THIS IS RANDOM BUT APPARENTLY THERE ARE COWS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. I JUST FELT EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THAT)

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Summer Bio~**

Mrs. T: Does anyone want some guinea pigs?

Class: What?

Mrs. T: Someone just called me. They can't keep their guinea pigs because of the flood, and they were just wondering if anyone would like to take them off their hands.

Class: Oooooh…

Payton: *looks confused, takes off her headphones, turns to Micky* Did she say rainboots or pancakes?

Micky: *whuttehcrap!Face* Guinea pigs!

Payton: Oh.

Brooke: *laughs loudly*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Summer Bio ~**

Micky: 'Kay, guys. Nobody step on my toe, I cut it open again, and it hurts like heck. If you step on it, I will maim you.

Later, during lunch…

Brooke: *kicks Micky's foot*

Micky: GAAAAAAAAAAH!

Brooke: *suppressing laughter while simultaneously cowering from Micky's rage*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Every single _fricken_ day of Summer Bio~**

Brooke: *peeks over computer at Micky* …Psssst, Micky!

Micky: *struggles to keep her cool* What?

Brooke: …I don't get it.

Micky: *goes batsh*t on Brooke's *ss* BROOKE I HAVE TO DO MY OWN WORK TOO! I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH EVERY QUESTION! JUST GOOGLE IT IF IT'S THAT HARD!

Brooke: *cowers* Otay…

Five minutes later…

Brooke: …Pssssst, Micky!

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Summer Bio~**

Becca: Mickyyyyy… *bugs Micky while she's trying to work on the computer lesson*

Micky: What?

Becca: …

Micky: *sighs*

Becca: Mickyyyyy…

Micky: *swings arm back, accidentally smacks Becca across the face, making her head bounce against the wall*

Becca: Whoaaa!

Micky: *turns* Omigosh, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't know your face was right there! I'm sorry!

Becca: …I didn't even feel it.

Micky & Becca: *laugh*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

One day, in Summer Bio, we were riding our bikes. First, we went to the hill beside the highway. We found some purple plant and took pictures and I waited for Brooke and Becca. I started riding along with Brooke, but we heard a thud and 'Oof'. We turned around and Becca had just face-planted it into the grass. We went back and asked, "What the heck did you do?" She replied, "I hit a gopher hole."

The same day, we were riding on a really bad trail by my house. It had just finished raining, so it was even worse than usual. There were pits of mud and I think Mr. D was regretting his choice to ride there that day. In one particularly muddy area, Brooke and I hung back while Becca literally charged ahead through the mud. She thought it would work better than going slowly. She went about a foot, then got off balance. She stuck her foot down in the mud and couldn't get it back out. Somehow she lost her balance and she toppled over into the mud, almost completely covering herself with it. She finally got her foot and bike out, but lost her shoe in the process.

Brooke and I laughed harder that day than any other day in Summer Bio. It was great.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**Some really random crap that Brooke texted me:**

Micky: well, i can see into the future!

Brooke: WELL I CAN SEE INTO THE PRESENT!

Kinky o.O

Haha it happens! Just like soap

Grrr whhh aaaah grr whaa grrr aaaaahggr waah –hulk

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**If you delete my part of one of our conversations on my phone, you get Brooke's side:**

FISHY FACE

ROCKET SHIP

SMH

BLEH

Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Indeed

…Vury intelligent, eh?

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~On the bus~**

Brooke: *draws a you-know-what on the window*

Micky: *rolls eyes* Brooke!

Brooke: What? It's a rocket ship!

Micky: …Well, actually, it looks like a mouse.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~The next day on the bus~**

Busdriver: *drives a little ways then goes back to the school*

Everyone on the bus: What the heck?

Bob: *walks on bus* Someone drew an inappropriate picture on their window. Who was it?

Brooke: Not Brooke!

Bob: *laughs* Then why is Brooke scooting down in her seat?

Micky: *shakes head hopelessly*

Bob: *says something along the lines of 'It's inappropriate, don't do it again, blahblahblah'*

Brooke: IT'S A ROCKET SHIP! But I didn't draw it!

Micky: *facepalms*

Bob: *keeps chewing everyone out*

Brooke: Opens windows and wipes the picture away* What rocket ship?

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**Inside jokes between Salem & me:**

Micky: Hey, Salem…do you have your…key?  
>Salem: *whips out house key and laughs*<p>

Micky: Vroom.  
>Salem: *laughs*<p>

Micky: *motions 5-dollar foot-long*  
>Salem: *laughs*<p>

Micky: *makes a weird face at Salem until she glances at her*  
>Salem: *glances at Micky and laughs*<p>

Micky: *makes a weird face at Salem*  
>Salem: *makes the puppy-dog face*<br>Micky: No.  
>Salem: *laughs*<p>

Seriously. Salem's puppy-dog face is THE BEST puppy-dog face I have ever seen. The first time I saw it in Basic Business, I freaked out. I'm like, "Ohmygosh, don't do that!" Salem was confused and I'm like, "You have the saddest puppy-dog look ever!" She did it again, and it broke my heart. She just laughed at me like she always does :)

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Katy: DON'T MIND THE MUSTACHE, I SWEAR I'M NOT A GUY. I'M JUST A CROSS-DRESSING TRANVESTITE AFTER DARK.

Micky: *whuttehcrap!Face* …Uh…whut?

Katy: My dad.

Micky: Ah.

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Katy: *picks up a nut (of the nuts and bolts variety) and smiles*

Micky: …Whuuut?

Katy: *holds nut up to Eric* Did you lose this?

Eric: What?

Micky & Katy: *laugh and walk away*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Micky: *talking to Kaylee about Sweeney Todd and a pic she failed at drawing* Sweeney's like, 'Johanna! Oh…Anthony…oh…whoops…'

Kaylee: *laughs* That's great!

(Don't. Even. Ask)

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Micky: *to Katy* JOHANNA!

Katy: *to Micky* SWEENEY!

Kaylee: *to Micky* SWEENEY!

Micky: *to Kaylee* ANTHONY!

All three: *pause, then laughter*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Micky: *goofing around with Katy during break*

Nathan: *walks up and points at Micky* PANTS!

Katy: *laughs*

Micky: …Whut?

Nathan: PANTS!

Micky: *slowly backs away*

Nathan: From now on, that's your name. Pants.

Micky: O-Okay…

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Nathan: Pants.

Micky: What?

Nathan: I love how you answer to that now.

Micky: *scowls*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir practice~**

Nathan: STEP, KICK. STEP, KICK. SPARKLE. SPARKLE. SPARKLE. SPARKLE.

(That was legitimately in one of the songs. And yes, it was the guy's part *EPIC WIN*)

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir trip, hotel lobby~**

Micky: *holding a giant stuffed snow leopard she got at the Bismarck Zoo*

Nathan: Aww, what's his name?

Micky: Onza Frederick Georgia Burns (it's actually longer, I just can't remember it).

Nathan: …'Kay then…

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir trip, Mom's car~**

Micky: *giggling and calling Brooke*

Brooke: Hello?

Micky: I got a snow leopard from the zoo.

Brooke: …Whut?

Micky: *talks louder* I got a snow leopard. From. The zoo.

Brooke: …I highly doubt that.

Micky: *flustered* Wha—I—it's— *pauses* It's a stuffed one, you moron!

Brooke: …Oooooooh, yeah, that would make more sense.

Micky: *facepalms*

_#Rawr~Rawr~Rawr#_

**~Choir trip, hotel room~**

Micky: *flipping through channels* Hey, Fairly Odd-parents! *clicks guide to see which episode is on* 'Kay, I'm gonna laugh if that episode it on. That would be— *pause*

Kaylee: What?

Micky: *quickly calls Brooke*

Brooke: Hello?

Micky: Guess which Fairly Odd-parents episode is on.

Brooke: …No way.

Micky: Yes.

Brooke: *laughs*

(Brooke had been singing 'My Shiny Teeth and Me' all week, and that's what episode was on)

* * *

><p>Whoa, geez…*gasps* I think I'm randomed out. There shall be more to come, I promise. I'm just really tired, and I really have to pee, so I'm ending it here.<p>

And what-ho? This chapter is longer than any other one? Haazaa!

So did you enjoy a glimpse into my life? The next chapter will probably be very similar, then I'll get back to working on the story. I just love to tell you how random life can be for Micky B. Tell me what your favorite parts were, and I'll try to have more of it in Part 2! Also...if you want me to explain myself for any part of this, please PM me :)

Till next time, faithful compatriots!  
>~MickyinBoots<p> 


	20. Fricken

So...while I was away...again...

I watched: Australia, Chuck Season 2, Phantom of the Opera (2004 movie and 25th Anniversary Edition), half of Sahara (seen it a million times), Avengers (TWICE! FRICKEN CHRIS EVANS FRICKEN), Les Miserables (25th Annivesary Edition RAMIN KARIMLOO FRICKEN FRICK'D FRICKEN HADLEY FRASER), and probably a lot of others.

Yeah...I'm really lazy...does anyone have any random ideas? I seen to have run out...I'M SO SORRY! GFAH!

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsane**: CUE THE AWKWARDNESS. D'aw, dangit...YOU MISSED THE 'R' IN HILARIOUS. Sorry, I'm the human SpellCheck. The good kind, not the stupid kind that I have. MAH LASER! BLAAAH.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever<strong>: DANGIT. HOLY CRAP YOU'RE BATMAN? I'M BATMAN! HIGH FIVE!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x2<strong>: ...'kay then...HIIIISSSSSSS.  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee<strong>: YES! I FINALLY GOT SOMEONE! Brooke is going nuts in real life as well...we won't dwell on that. I'M BATMAN. Ha, no, I don't hate you, nor will I kill you. Superboy is SEXAAAAAAAAY so I don't blame you. I don't know what it is about Wally that attracts me to him, but okay then.  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x2<strong>: AWESOME! EPIC! OF COURSE! Okay, goodbye. XD  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x3<strong>: It wasn't freaky. It was freaky-deaky. Imma say that from now on...  
><strong>Xena Depp Hernandez<strong>: (Okay, random name, but that's okay...O.o) HOOKER DRESS.  
><strong>Floaties<strong>: Manly crazy? Awesome.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x4:<strong> I'm not scared of Sweeney anymore. He's seen me in lederhosen, you can't get any friendlier than that.  
><strong>ScissorhandsFan:<strong> ...Fricken jealous.  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x3:<strong> Well, fine then.  
><strong>CoolPerson:<strong> Batman is the boss. *reads rest of review* ...'kay then!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x5:<strong> I...I...I don't understand.  
><strong>Anonymous:<strong> I'M DORRY! Wow, that was, like, a month ago already...I'm such a slacker...anywho, I sang Green Finch and Linnet Bird, and I'm thinking about putting a video of it on Youtube, but the quality is uber crappy, so I may have to wait until I get my hands on a camcorder, webcam, or my brother's iPad. *jealous rage at brother's fricken luck*  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x4:<strong> I've been saying 'btdubs' ever since I read your review. I don't know why.  
><strong>kds7800:<strong> Wow! Long time, no see! YEEEEEEEEEEEEES HOLY FRICKERS. I won't go on a rant. I promise. Must...resist...  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x6:<strong> YA HAD A BAD DAY, YA DA DA DA DA, YA SING A SAD SONG JUST TA TURN IT AROUND...is it sad that I don't know that song?  
><strong>Anonymous:<strong> WEEHOO!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x7:<strong> Wow, Micky. You had someone review seven fricken times before you wrote a real chapter. *goes on self depreciation rant*  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x5:<strong> No, it's fine *laughs* We went to the Avengers (like I said) and it was...haaaaaah...Chris Evans...and of course Katy had to point out that everyone was wearing tight pants O.o COUPOOOOON! Umm...okay, he's hot!  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee x6:<strong> ZOHMAIGAWSH CHRIS EVAANS! Lawl herpaderp, to you, too ;)

...Hooooooooly crap, look at all those review responses.

Poll #2: I was originally gonna rant about Phantom of the Opera, but I seriously need to calm down before RAMIN KARIMLOO...oh geez, sorry. I told you...anywho, since I GOT MY DRIVER'S PERMIT YESTERDAY (yay me!), how old are you guys? Not to pry, I'm just curious. And if you're old enough, how many of you have a permit/license (I FRICKEN HATE WRITING THAT FRICKEN WORD I ALWAYS MISPELL IT)?

I find it ironic that I misspelled 'misspell'.

* * *

><p>"Wallace Rudolph West."<p>

"What?"

"Nothing, I was just mocking your name. Aren't I delightful?"

"Yes, Brooke. Positively wonderful."

"I thought so."

Wally rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the ceiling. In the room above, Sweeney was seating the Judge and lathering his face with white stuff (A/N: *snort* I hang out with too many perverts *coughBrookecough*) Wally was currently pacing the floor impatiently. Micky was up there as well, though she was hidden from sight. She was supposed to give Brooke and Wally a signal when the next song was about to start.

"CAW CAAAW! CAH CAWWWW! CAAAAAAAAH CAAAAAAAAWWWW!"

Brooke looked up.

"What the fu-"

"I think that's the signal."

They scrambled up the stairs, shoving each other to get there first. When they arrived at the top, Micky was tapping her foot and glaring down at them. "Could you guys be any louder?"

Wally brushed himself off and retorted, "This coming from the girl who thought CAHH CAAAAAAAWW would be a good signal."

Brooke protested. "Actually, I think it was brilliant."

Wally gaped. "In what world?"

Brooke gasped and smiled. "In my world! Everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies." She opened her mouth and made an odd sound. Wally was thoroughly creeped out, but Micky just observed her friend calmly.

"No more cartoons for you."

Brooke's response was, "ACT SWIFTLY AWESOME PACADERM!"

"WHAT THE CRAP IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?"

"It's a side effect of bipolarity. Get used to it."

"Okaaaaaaayyy..."

"Now shut up, this is one of my favorites."

* * *

><p><strong>~Meanwhile, downstairs~<strong>

"To-BYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Instead of a short, adorable little boy, a tall young man ran gleefully into the room and sat next to Mrs. Lovett. She grimaced discreetly and mumbled of to the side, "Oh joy..."

"Hello, Mombuscus."

Mrs. Lovett quickly suggested, "Oi, love, would you like some gin?" Toby smiled and said, "Oh, yes, Mombuscus." He took a large gulp and slammed his shot glass on the table. Mrs. Lovett waited expectantly as his eyes started drifting shut. He wobbled a little, then made a face.

"Well, that's precarious."

SLAM!

Mrs. Lovett grinned and brushed her hands together as if they were dirty. She stood, picking up the bottle and glasses, and walked past the unconscious Buscus to put them away.

* * *

><p>The Judge and Sweeney were currently talking quietly to each other, and Turpin looked creepy as ever. While Brooke and Micky strained to listen in on the conversation, Wally looked around as he heard soft tango music begin to play. He voiced his thoughts:<p>

_"This is weird."_

Micky agreed without turning away from the two men. _"It's weird."_

Wally nodded and moved a little closer to the girls. _"Very weird."_

Brooke joined, _"Fricken weird."_

They all paused to glance at each other. Meanwhile, the tango music was replaced with a softer tune. Turning their attention to Skunkman and Pedojudge once more, they completely forgot what had transpired a few moments ago. Which...was probably for the best.

"Stylish...trimming of the hair? Sit, sir...sit."

Micky's mouth opened in excitement and waved her hands wildly, struggling to contain her sheer joy. The same mouth formed the silent shrieks of "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG GAAAAAAAAHGRALALKJES!" After a swat to the back of the head, the brunette managed to contain herself (only slightly) and mouthed the words dramatically as Turpin started.

_"You see, sir, a man infatued with love; her ardent and eager slave...so fetch the pomade and pumice stone, and lend me a more seductive tone...a sprinkling perhaps of French cologne...but first, sir, I think...a shave!"_

Brooke and Wally were rolling all over the place, hands clamped over their mouths so as not to let their hysterical laughter pour out. Micky was sitting in the same spot, but her eyes were wide and there was a huge smile on her face. Tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes and she soon joined her comrades in their camaraderie (A/N: Yes, I fricken spelled that right!).

Oh, Turpin...thrusting as always...

Poor Sweeney...violated as always...

Said Skunkman was currently backed against his dresser with an aghast expression on his face. He had just been the witness of a severely disturbing sight...

(A/N: Okay, you seriously wanna know? Has anyone seen Land of the Lost (Will Ferrell version)? You remember the ape guy, uh...'dancing' in the background during that one scene? Yeah. Imagine Turpin doing that while saying 'seductive'.

Yeah.)

Meanwhile, Turpin was smiling at Sweeney and the barber was forced to say something...anything...

_"In sleep he sang to me...in dreams he came..."_

Wait...

Fricken WHUT?

(A/N: If you think about it...those words could be taken so, _so_ very wrong...)

Sweeney actually looked embarrassed at the words that had come out of his mouth. Was he...holy crap, he was freaking blushing! Oh my Bieber...

This time, Micky could not contain her laughter, and it echoed around them. Wally and Brooke looked thoroughly weirded out, but Turpin...

Oh, Turpin...thrusting as always...

Luckily, Sweeney was somehow able to pick up what was left of his dignity (heh...not much, thanks to Micky...) and put a great distance between himself and Pedojudge. "I...I meant: _The closest I evaaar gave...*whistlewhistlewhistlewhistle*"_

Turpin beamed happily at the tune and asked, "In a gay mood today, Mr. Todd?" Sweeney stopped once more, hearing giggles from outside again. "Ehhhh...whut?"

"You know...gay. Happy. Merry. _Gay!"_

"Ah...uhrm...sure?"

Brooke, Micky, and Wally all looked at each other, rolled their eyes and said, "Riiiiiiiight..."

Turpin nodded politely and sat in the big, comfy looking chair (A/N: I want to SIT ON IT. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY). Sweeney shook his head and continued once more. _"'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire from one man to the next."_

Turpin nodded again. _"'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire the blood to pound, the heart leap higher..."_

Wally snorted. Everybody knew where exactly that blood was 'pounding'...and at the Judge's age, it was a surprise he hadn't gone into cardiac arrest with all his constant..._excitement._

_"What more can man require than love, sir?"_

_"More than love, sir?"_ Sweeney asked and ignored the desperate mental pleas that Brooke was sending to him. "DON'T TELL HIM! DON'T DO IT! HE'LL RAPE US IF YOU DOOOOOOO-oh look, a ladybug!"_  
><em>

Turpin cocked his head to the side and-

(A/N: Wait...scratch that...)

Turpin tilted his head to the side and asked, _"What, sir?"_

_"Women."_ Brooke face-palmed and could've killed Sweeney with her glare.

_"Ah, yes...women..."_ Turnip had a serious Pedobear look on his face now. And those _stupid glowing yellow pants_...it was Signor Pirelli all over again.

_"Pretty women..."_

Leave it to Sweeney to go and give Pedojudge all sorts of ideas. Brooke facepalmed again. She was probably getting a headache. "Now we won't be able to go within ten miles of this guy without the risk of him hunting us down and staring at us like meat. Not that we really could in the first place, but...I like to have my options!"

Micky stated, "Calm down and listen to the FRICKEN SONG!"

_"Bumbumbumbumbbubmbmbbubbmfajl;kdfjakljdfuubbmjajfdajdaf;bumbumbubmbum!"_

(A/N: If you couldn't tell, I gave up trying to concentrate on writing 'bum' over and over again)

Sweeney turned away from the Judge to grin evilly (and halfways pedophilically...not sure that's a word, but 'kay...) at his beloved razor. He approached Turnip menacingly and bared his teeth as he wrapped one arm around the Judge's neck and prepared to do the dirty deed.

No, not _that _dirty deed.

_"Now then, my friend...now to your purpose...patience...enjoy it...revenge can't be taken in haste!"_

_"Make haste and in this work you'll be commended, sir."_Sweeney had a mini hissy fit in which he jumped up and down silently and mock punched the Judge in the back of the head. As soon as it had started, the rage disappeared and Sweeney took a deep breath and smoothed his hands over his clothes.

_"My lord..."_ Sweeney grimaced. _"And who may it be said is your intended, sir?"_

_"My waaaaaaaaaard_...pretty as a rose bud." Yeah...he had _that _look on his face.

"Pretty as her mother?"

"Hmm? What was that?"

"Nothing, sir, nothing..."

Micky was leaning forward in anticipation at the coming lyrics, and was practically SQWEEEing in delight. And...

Nothing.

He was just shaving Turnip.

HE WAS JUST SHAVING TURNIP?

(A/N: What just happened? Where's the song?)

[MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH!]

(A/N: No...no, it can't be! You're not a writer!)

[I AM KNOW AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!]

(A/N: You're not even grammatically correct! It's not 'know', it's 'now'!)

[Pfft, whatever that means...]

(A/N: BROOKE GET OFF THE FREAKING COMPUTER AND LEAVE ME ALONE!)

[NEVAAAAAH!]

(A/N: YOU WILL CUUUUUUUUURSE THE DAY YOU DID NOT DOOO...ALL...THAT MICKYINBOOTS ASKED...OF...YOUUUUUUUUUUU!)

[Uh...whut?]

(A/N: HEATHEN! *attacks imposter*)

Sweeney, Micky, Brooke, and Wally were all looking around at the sky, wondering where the heck all this shouting was coming from. Brooke shook her aching head and mumbled, "Author!Micky, just finish the f*cking scene, a'right?"

(A/N: Uhh...o-okay...)

Sweeney shaved the Judge with extreme grace and poise, and the Judge just sat there, looking...Judgish. And creepy. What else is new?

Soon, the dramatic music in the background got louder and Sweeney got a look of rage on his face. He lifted up his razor to slash the Judge's throat open, and Wally closed his eyes, feeling a little squeamish.

Suddenly, Anthony (go figure) burst through the door. "HEY MR. TODD! I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I'M GONNA STEAL JOHANNA TONIGHT AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO CENSOR IN AN ALLEY ALL NIGHT AND-oh, hai Judge-THEN I'LL TAKE HER TO AMERICA AND THEN WE'LL CENSOR EVERY DAY AND NIGHT AND HAVE MILLIONS OF BABIES CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR!"

Awkward pause.

The Judge looked like he was going to burst into tears. Sweeney looked ready to kill the CENSOR that had just ruined his chances for revenge. Turnip jumped up and threw the cover towel thingy off (A/N: Here we go again...) and cried out like a three year old.

"But Johanna's MINE to CENSOR!" He stomped around a bit and wailed, "I thought we were friends, Mr. Todd! It's not fair! MOMMYYYYYYYYY!" He ran out the door with flailing arms and everyone heard him tumble down the stairs.

Anthony stood there with his hands clasped behind his back, rocking back and forth. "Sooo...anyway, about Johanna's boobs, I just thought that-"

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!"

"GAAAH! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" Anthony ran wailing out the door, very much like Turnip. However, instead of falling down the stairs, he threw himself over the banister. Micky ran over to look, and trailed back to the other miserably.

"He's still alive..."

* * *

><p>Yes...I realize I spelled Turpin's name 'Turnip' a few times. It was on purpose. SO GET OFF ME BRO!<p>

Extra fricken bonus points to whoever can pick out the lyrics from RENT and Phantom of the Opera. Hate the first musical, but I am FRICKEN IN LOVE with the latter. Especially considering...Ramin Karimloo...plays Enjolras in the 25th Annivesary Edition. FRICKEN FRICK.

Also, I will admit that in the midst of my journey for Broadway lyrics to confuse our characters with, I got caught up with looking at pictures of Ramin Karimloo as well as the gorgeous Hadley Fraser. Yes, he's a guy. And a freaking babe, at that. AND HE WEARS NERD GLASSES. HOLY CRAP. Sorry, I just flipped out when I saw that video...

Nevertheless, I somehow managed to leave those sweet, sweet abs behind for a few moments while I finished this chapter for you guys. YOU'RE FRICKEN WELCOME FRICKEN. I also slept cuz it was 11:30. So this is the next day. And I ate some ice-cream and slacked off the entire day. Now, if you will all excuse me, I must go back to my Ramen Caribou...wait, Ramin Karimloo...  
>XD<br>Fricken.  
>How many times did I say that today? Holy fricken...<br>~MickyinBoots


	21. Whuuuuuuuuut?

Does anyone else think Hugh Jackman is probably the most attractive guy in the universe?

**Thanks as always:  
><strong>**I'mNotCrazy.I'mInsaneIsTooLazy:** Pfft, okay I get it know. I'm like, 'To login? Kay…that's cool…' Then I saw who it was from. *facepalm* Potato room? I don't…I just…okay. I soooooo told you. I like the Literals and the Hot Symphonies *snorts* Heh, I'm thinking about getting my Motorcyclist('s?) License, but alas! I don't know anyone with a motorcycle!  
><strong>Sweeney4ever:<strong> Okay. I'm sorry, I'm tired. I have nothing else to say.  
><strong>Sweeney4ever x2:<strong> Kayp! HE'S THEEEEEEERE THE PHAAAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA.  
><strong>CoolPerson:<strong> Yuppers.  
><strong>MahFrehndsArShinee:<strong> *sees how long review is* Ho, crap…I know, I know…I just realized how dirty it was after I read it, but of course I didn't edit anything out cuz where's the fun in that? I would suggest either watching the 2004 movie (that's what I saw first. It has Gerard Butler as the Phantom XD), but nothing can't beat the 25th Anniversary performance with Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess. It's pretty much the best version out there. I'm not joking. I watch it over and over (which is kinda bad, cuz it's almost three hours long O.o). Rotfl, nerd voice…I can just imagine…wull, you have a nice day as well!  
><strong>P.S:<strong> I really do love your long reviews. It gives me someone to talk to when Brooke won't text me back for three hours. And when she eventually does I've moved on and can't remember what I was gonna tell her in the first place.

Ho, crap…first I had Nyan Cat stuck in my head, then Keyboard Cat, and now HEYYAAYAAYEEAAH. I HATE MY LIFE.

No poll this chapter, but only because I'm going to be having a contest! The rules will be posted shortly as a new chapter, so stay tuned after these messages!

Okay Micky…*looks at Author's Note*…you gotta make your chapter REALLY long (that's what she said XD) and your end A/N REALLY short. B*TCH! I have been watching WAAAAAAAY too much Smosh.

Oh, small warning...smuttish waters be ahead.

* * *

><p>Narrator: When we last saw our attractive and charismatic duo—<p>

Brooke: Wally doesn't count cuz he's a ginger and isn't attractive or charismatic.

Micky: Oooooooooh!

Wally: *forever alone*

Narrator: *ahem*

Brooke: Sorry.

Narrator: Now, as I was monologing…we left our exceptionally good-looking heroines just as the lovely Michaela came trotting back into the dusty room from the wood-carved banister outside, looking thoroughly distressed. She held up a hand to her head and seemed as though she would faint. Teetering in a small circle, the illustrious Michaela collapsed in a heap at the feet of her beau, Wallace Rudolph West.

Brooke: *snort*

Narrator: Wallace reached out, then pulled back his hand just before he could lay a finger on his precious Michaela's forehead, which was covered with a light coat of perspiration. He gazed longingly down at Michaela's closed eyes, wondering if they would never open once more. Oh, how he longed to see those gorgeous shining gray orbs stare back into his emerald ones, how he longed to kiss away her pain as if he could mend her broken heart, how he longed to tear her clothes off of her person and ravish her for all of eternity…

Micky: . . .

Wally: . . .

Brooke: *chokes a little on drink* Pffffft, yeah, that's rich.

Narrator: Meanwhile, in another corner of the gloomy room, an envious friend sat glaring at her counterpart. Brooklyn raped Wally with her eyes and wished desperately that he would throw her against the wall and take her ferociously. To feel his lips bite at her eager nipples, and to feel his hardened pe—

Brooke: *does a fabulous spit-take*

Micky: WHAT?

Wally: …Geez, next stop, Violation Station…

Narrator: —inside her womanly folds. She wished for him to fill her and spill his essence into her as she screamed his name wantonly. She wanted to claw at his back as she found her release, only to find her passion reignited and ride him for all he was worth and—

Micky: HOKAY, I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH.

Narrator: What's enough?

Wally: *brain is fizzling, collapses*

Brooke: *retching on the ground* I thought you said this person was a good narrator!

Micky: Well, he started out that way…

Narrator: I'm a girl.

Micky: Oh. Well, things were goin' good until you decided to change this parody into a porno. Freak…

Narrator: BROOKE BELONGS WITH WALLY!

Micky: . . .

Wally: Hwaaaah?

Brooke: Say what in the butt?

Narrator: *rips off 'Narrator' sign on her chest to reveal a t-shirt*

Brooke: Sh*t. A fangirl.

Micky: *reads* 'Walke 4EVAH'? Whattehcrap is 'Walke'?

Narrator: Duh, Wally and Brooke.

Brooke: *pukes up a butt-load of meat-pie residue*

Wally: When did you eat more meat-pies?

Brooke: *glances at Wally and pukes up another butt-load*

Wally: Wow, thanks, author!Micky. Love you, too.

(A/N: DID YOU HEAR THAT? HE SAID HE LOVED ME!)

Wally: Ho, crap.

Micky: *to Narrator* Just leave.

Narrator: WALLY, MARRY BROOKE! SHE'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER, I PROMISE! And you know, if that doesn't work out, I'm always available for you to release your carnal desires on and—

Micky: GET OUT.

Narrator: *scurries away*

Micky, Brooke, and Wally: . . .

Micky: *grabs Wally's shirt and kisses him*

Wally: . . .

Brooke: Ho, d*mn.

Narrator: *distantly* NOOOOOOOOOO!

Micky: *releases Wally and stalks away* You're mine, not Brooke's.

Wally and Brooke: . . .

Micky: AUTHOR!MICKY, GET OUT OF THIS FORMAT RIGHT NOW!

(A/N: Yes ma'am! *salutes*)

* * *

><p>Micky glanced up at the previous segment of this chapter and rolled her eyes, realizing something.<p>

"Author!Micky, you moron, you just wrote about three pages of crap that doesn't even pertain to the story."

(A/N: Well, I… *glances up* Oh…dang.)

Rolling her eyes, Micky glanced at Sweeney, who in the midst of the entire incident, stood fuming and glaring at the people outside. Mrs. Lovett suddenly appeared rolling pin in hand and ready to swing. She took one look at Sweeney and she immediately dropped the weapon and stepped over to him.

"Wot 'appened? I saw the two loonies fall down the stairs, so I came up. I was jus' makin' us a lovely cat sou- I mean, _carrot _soup, and I-"

"_I had him."_ Mrs. Lovett rolled her eyes and nodded wearily. "I know, I jus' toldja tha' I saw 'em tumble down. Gave me a 'eart-attack, it did!"

Sweeney turned around furiously and shrieked, _"NO, I HAD HIM!"_ Turning back to the window, he muttered, _"His throat was bare beneath my hand…"_

Wally popped in and nervously laughed, "Calm down…"

Micky interceded again, throwing her hands in the air and screaming in frustration. She slapped Wally on the face and backed him up against the wall. Everyone's reactions are as follows:

Brooke O.o

Wally DX

Sweeney -.-

Mrs. Lovett :O

Turpin XD

(A/N: GET OUTTA HERE NO ONE LIKES YOU.)

Turpin *forever alone*

Micky yelled, "EVER SINCE YOU GOT HERE THINGS HAVE GOTTEN ALL WEIRD AND FRICK'D UP. YOU'VE BLINDED AUTHOR!MICKY WITH YOUR GINGER-FIED CHARMS AND NOW LOOK AT THIS STORY! JUST GET LOST! YOU CAN COME BACK WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! NOW JUST VIBRATE BACK TO CENTRAL CITY AND SAVE YOUR COMIC WORLD, GOT IT?"

Wally, without a word, dejectedly vibrated himself faster and faster before disappearing.

* * *

><p>I hope you're as confused as I am. Murray has officially taken over.<p>

One last word of wisdom...

Say Hugh Jass out loud.  
><em>I dare you.<br>_~MickyinBoots


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